Hey, you’re one so glad that you guys could join us today. We are here their very own BNA. You know, I’m actually going on a trip with my boy here, BNA. Uh, we’re going to go to Dallas. We’re going to see some motivational speaker who is I think one of arguably one of the best psychologists of our time, although he’s not named that. And we’re going to get to know each other, get to know another buddy of mine and really ask the Lord to work through this person and really set some limiting beliefs that Best Christian Family Counselor Oklahoma City have free in us to get our own mark down and to grow. And then we get there. Bring that life back to you guys and we’re just really excited about it. And today you haven’t heard Ben was awarded one of the best three best. He works at one of the three best counseling practices in our state. That’s right. One of the three best marriage counseling practices and New Vision Counseling and then specializes in marriage. So he is uniquely qualified guys to talk about marriage. He’s, he’s married, he’s been married, he’s got two kids. For now, maybe more on the way, who knows? But today’s gonna talk about three freedoms worth fighting for and your marriage. Three freedoms. We’re fighting 40 marriage. Ben, what are those speakers?

Well Guy, there’s three freedoms. One thing you don’t do vision is, you know, we really believe in marriage and believe in fighting for marriage. One myth we’re always trying to best for people is that marriage does not take work. I mean, right? I mean, if I’m going a good marriage, right? That’s very, it should be easy. We’re supposed to be together. It should just be just be like drinking water to smoothly go down. Yeah. I wasn’t really one of the biggest, it’s one of the biggest lies we contend with, right? Is that if you’re really loving each other, shouldn’t be that hard. Love should come natural. It should just happen. Yeah. And so what we find is people that have intentional marriages do things intentionally to work on that have better marriages. Right. Um, so a lot of times couples, us, what do Best Christian Family Counselor Oklahoma City do?

What do we do? What do we do? Um, well, one, you gotta do something, something different. Right? Watch TV. Oh, these. Yeah. What about that? Yeah. And he really just gotta be, you really just kind of be intentional. And so we, we really try to inspire and help couples do that really bust that myth that it shouldn’t be that hard. I mean, your marriage is worth fighting for and that means, uh, that means you got to do some hard, difficult things to talk to that. And sometimes that fights against yourself, right? It’s against that selfishness against that. You know, Timothy Keller and as a meaning and marriage book really talks about the number one enemy really in our marriage is really our own selfishness and pride in that, that we should treat it as that way. Um, so I’ve heard other people struggle with that and their marriage is not a problem for me. [inaudible] we don’t, we don’t struggle with that. No, but yeah, that was one of the biggest things, right? How do I get out of my way? Right? Actually, really love someone else rather than just loving someone else so that they’ll love me or meet my needs. It’s

hard because so many people I hear coming to the counseling office say, you know, I love you but I’m not in love with you and I. What does that even mean? What do you mean you’re not you love? Does that mean like, Hey, I love going to work but I’m not in love with getting up at 4:00 AM every day, right? I mean, how many of us really go through our days and have a real job and Best Christian Family Counselor Oklahoma City make decisions? All of our decisions based upon how we feel at the moment, right? Nobody that looks like Ben and his raped in his greatest shape and as a triathlon, I’m like, Ben does that because if you did that, you’d be 4,000 pounds. You need to McDonald’s every day, but you wouldn’t get it. You get Postmates or something, delivery service to bring it to you, and that’s when people go to marriage is they think that it should be easy and natural to just be selfless. Hey, the only thing that’s required of you to be a Christ follower in a marriage is good diet itself. That’s all. It’s just a down sell. It’s not a big deal. Right? Just dying in the flesh. Yeah. Bust the myth.

That’s all. That’s all right. Right. So, you know, I just go put the freedoms, you know, 40 dinners Best Christian Family Counselor Oklahoma City can experience and marriage and but what do I have to fight for them? So, so the first one really is

4th of July. We’re in the July month. We just fought for our [inaudible].

Yeah. That’s where I talk about the freedom, the freedom to speak and to be heard. Right? That’s good. Now freedom to really have a place that you can talk and know that you’re going to be listened to. That’s good. And also to show your partner that they’re going to be listened to at the same time, it needs to be a place that that can happen. Um, it’s often, it’s really interesting even in sessions when we’re working with people, how often you want to see this breakthrough and really what happens if someone’s just decided to listen to the other for the first time and only listen. Right. And I will tell you this, people will do crazy thing to be heard, to be heard. They, I mean, act out in so many ways. And then finally somebody who says, oh, are here you right? Or Oh, no matter you matter.

Right? And, and so it’s a, it’s a huge, it’s a huge moment. So you have that freedom. Um, and here’s the other thing. Learn we want in a marriage should be heard by our words. Yeah. Right? Cause if we’re not heard by our words again, then we do all these other actions, all these things to try to be heard or noticed rather than finding the words to say what Best Christian Family Counselor Oklahoma City need to say. But the freedom takes listening and also takes being willing to listen, listen to another person. Uh, but also to speak truth as well and, and your relationship. But it’s worth fighting for. But it’s not always easy, right? I mean, you got to fight for that, for yourself and for the other person. So that’d be that girl, the first freedom. Second one, that freedom to be respected. Marriage. Uh, if you read a fusion’s Phi and you read these different passages to really a place of love and respect, right?

And so, and it’s a place to be free to really, to love to respect another person on a really deep level. Uh, even if they’re not meeting your expectations is that moment, even if they’re not being the person that you think they should be. Right. Um, I, you know, I read that and I tell people this too, you know, our vows are, I do, they’re not. I do if you do, right? It’s like I do, I’m making this commitment to you. I do. If you do. Yeah. I love you if you love me. That’s really the, that’s really, that’s really good. And really that really the new vowel is I do as long as you do, and then if you don’t, then I’m done. Right. I mean, that’s seems like kind of the new way that we do marriage, but really that commitment, uh, I do.

Um, and you know, the Gospel really calls us to a high standard in this regard. Right? It’s not to respect people only if they’re respecting you. Right? It’s not to love people only if they are your best friends. Right? Um, so love your enemies. Um, hopefully your spouse is not your enemy can happen, but love your enemies to go the extra mile for people. Right? Um, now it doesn’t mean just be a doormat. That’s right. Right. I don’t have time to go through all that. Doesn’t mean that’s not respectful to you or the other person to be in that way. But we do have a right to, to be respected and ask for that. Absolutely. And if it’s, if that’s not happening, then sometimes you need to reach out and get help for that to happen or ask. Ask that from the other person. And that’s, we work that all the time, right?

Helping people be respectful, you know, to the other person and have that language to do that. So counseling is really effective with these communications. And you know, sometimes people don’t even realize they’re not being heard and they’re super frustrating feeling alone. They even get depressed. But when they start to get these real connections with their relationship and their marriage, or even with friends and kids, and it starts to meet these needs, and then they learn in reverse how God made us that we are designing and living community with people, loving and giving and receiving love. Yeah. So it’s a big deal. So freedom worth fighting for, for sure. It really is. It really is. And this comes on both ways, right? I mean, it’s worth fighting for your partner’s respect to, right? That I’m gonna Fight, I’m gonna do everything I can to respect you and I’m going to show you that you’re worthy of respect in all ways.

And so it’s not just respect me, your spectrum, your respect me. It’s, I’m going to show you you’re worthy of respect of all my respect that I have. And then finally, really the freedom to love and to be loved. Now, especially in the context of a marriage. Um, you chose this person and they chose you right? To the exclusion of the billions of other people that are on this planet. Right? So you said you’re the one, right? You’re the one, I’m going to do this. Be the most intimate with right be the closest with. Um, and, and it’s really a powerful place where that can be. And Best Christian Family Counselor Oklahoma City really, and again, we coach couples and help couples a lot on that. Like let this be a place of love and where you receive love and really experience that. And even outside of that, it’s really a place to experience how much love and grace and mercy God shows us by loving us.

Um, it’s a really powerful place. Paul calls that a profound mystery. The marriage being like the relationship between Christ and his church and set such a powerful place. I was talking with somebody about this today. Uh, our called love is supernatural. It’s amazing. I thought that, call it a love. When you realize what it takes to love somebody and the grace and mercy it takes, you realize God does that for me. Right? In the end, you can feel that and understand that on a deeper level. Uh, then you can, again, our culturally has kind of a selfish love, right? The loves about me. Uh, but the love is of really, uh, the Gospel calls us to love out of that compulsion because Christ has loved us, right? And to come from that direction. So those are the three freedoms. So I know Best Christian Family Counselor Oklahoma City had a brief time here, but those are the three freedoms worth fighting for in our marriage. You know, I reminds me, Add New Vision counseling.

We worked really hard to help you discover what better looks like for you. And then Best Christian Family Counselor Oklahoma City equip you with the tools to create it because we believe that you’re worth fighting for. We believe that your family, your wife, your husband, your kids, the friends that you have, that God died on the Cross through Jesus Christ to provide a way. And if you’re biblical counseling, we marry cutting edge counseling techniques and biblical truths to bridge the gap of where you’re at, to help you go where God designed, destined you to move towards. And you may say this is a great start, but I had liked more. I would like more help. Well, you can go to New Vision counseling.live. That’s new vision. Counseling dot. L. I. V. E. And we have resources. There are videos to encourage you. We have blogs, and then we also have a way to contact us to get in touch and maybe schedule an appointment to change your life.

Starting today, we have amazing Best Christian Family Counselor Oklahoma City like this Guy BNA, who’s world infamous, I mean famous for helping you connect to God and connect to each other in ways that transform their lives and their generations. So we’d love to hear from you. Thank you so much for watching. I want to give a shout out to my boy, Rasha Copeland, who just had another baby. That guy and his wife are going for it. You’re trying to populate the world with Christians. Yup. One pregnancy at a time. All right. Hey, God bless you guys. We’ll see you next week. Okay.