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Hi, I’m Shawn Maguire and this is the New Vision counseling.live podcast, a place where we help you discover what better looks like for you and equip you with the tools to create it. Today on our episode number 42 I’m going to take you back through the four pillars of how to raise a son who will change the world. And so I’m going to start with my last trip with my son, which was just this weekend. You know, I discovered a few years ago the value of taking our kids alone. On a trip outside of your town, something that’s different from their normal life or your daughter as well? Cause I’ve done this for my daughter. We do most times very different things, but sometimes they’re similar states. So this time we went to Tulsa, Oklahoma. We had a full calendar plan for the weekend of Friday, Saturday, Sunday of events that we’re going to go to, restaurants, places.

But the bigger part of our trip was the preparation I had. See I was praying about God moving in the time with my son because I know that in our society today, we as godly parents, Christian parents need to be very intentional with what we do with our children, with what we let them see with the kind of people that we allow them or empower them to be around their peer influences or even the sports or activities we let them get involved in really have an impact in the way they see the world and on the kind of character they develop. And so as Christian parents, I think we are called by God to be set apart, to be different, to not allow us to society, a society to define who our kids should be based upon their beliefs. But to take the Bible and extrapolate from the word of God what true manhood, masculinity looks like.

It does not look like taking advantage of women because they’ll man thinks he’s stronger, does not look like taking advantage of weaker even other men or boys because you’re stronger. Does it look like making fun of people? What does it look like? That’s the questions we’re going to start answering today, but it also is very important to know what does it look like so your kids know what to say yes to and what to say no to. So on our trip, I really invested timing, listening to podcasts, reading books, looking at scriptures related to who god calls men to become, how myself as a dad is called to invest in them. If you’re a mother listening to this, there are so many things from our time today that you can extrapolate for your life and empowering your son or your daughter from what I’m going to share.

Also, if you’re a man or you’re married to a man, that you can encourage that man to step into this role of leading his family sacrificially, lovingly. And this really is a platform to build these pillars that you can build a life apart. Because as a parent, you only have this small window of opportunity compared to the rest of your child’s life. To invest like this in a way that you are the biggest influence that you do have the most control in their child’s life about what they do, what they see, what the here and how you act and react to them. So one of the things I prayed for was that God would give us divine opportunities, divided opportunities to step into experiences that will lead him to become a godly boy. Seven two experiences that give me an opportunity to show him what a godly man looks like.

And I also asked for the grace that I would not have too many failures along the way by giving up my patients, by becoming frustrated if he doesn’t listen or he does something that causes me stress, like an annoying behavior or just anything. You guys have kids, if you do you understand what I’m talking about. So I prayed about these divine opportunities and on the way down there we talked about some scriptures, we sang songs, we talked about what we were hoping to do that weekend and we celebrated some of the marvel movies we recently watched about superheroes. Looking forward to this other movie coming out called any game. And it’s just a lot of fun connecting. And during that process I started to go over the four pillars again of raising a senate, changes the world. And the first pillar is reject passivity. You know, a real man is going to reject passivity.

What do you mean reject passivity? Well, I think that conversation actually begins in the garden of Eden. Let’s go back to see the first man and a woman created by God. And the conversation that they first had that was conflictual. You see, the devil came in the form of a serpent. And even if you don’t believe this, just go with the story cause it, it’s gonna make a lot of sense and how to raise your kids and the struggles that men face in life. And it says that the devil through became, took the form of a serpent. And then he began to tempt eve saying, why don’t you eat of this tree? This is a great tree. And he looked and she saw that it was desirable if something that man looked tasty. And she said, well, because God said don’t do it and so I’m not going to do it.

And then the devil tricked her. He said, did God really say don’t eat of this tree? And so she began to question it, saw that it was desirable. And so she disobeyed. God, grabbed a fruit, ate the fruit, and then the Bible says, you know, I’m wondering where’s Admin all this? The Bible says, she turned and gave Adam the fruit and he ate it as well. Guys, this is the first act of sin recorded in scripture. You see, when Adam abdicated his role as protector, abdicated his role as king, somebody who is called by God to protect, to love, to step into the gap, and to grab the serpent, rip his head off and be done with anyone coming against his family in a way to take them out. And this is the first event we have recorded in scripture, or Adam does not step in and he’s passive and he allows easy to be tempted.

He allows this questioning of God, who they’ve only known to be a god of love happen right before his very eyes. And it’s so sad because Adam could’ve simply put it into it. God gave him the strength. You’ve got to give him the ability. God gave him all these things, but he sat any watched, eve get taken advantage of. And so the first element, start with rejecting passivity. Realize that you cannot simply allow the circumstances of life by the people that come into your life. By the opportunities that come into your life or the opportunities that don’t dictate who you become, the kind of career path you choose because it’s easy or because you’re good at it or because it’s just, it’s something that’s available and the other career path, maybe heart. Now reject passivity. Realized that first thing started because Adam was passive. Instead of being proactive and activating on what God gave him to do and protect and reach out and strike the serpent down.

And then we’re in a different world today. And when you do that, you realize it’s a calling that you must do to step into authentic manhood the way God designed man had to be. Then you’re going to see the world differently than most of your peers. You’re going to see that you needed, you know, as a parent, seeing the need for your child, your son to reject passivity. You’re going to parent them differently. You’re going to realize that you need to do this in your own life as a dad, you know, and even as a mom, it’s important as well. But rejecting pacivity is to start. The second thing that we talked about with my son related to pacivity was how this looks in his life. I said, buddy, what do you think this looks in your life? And we went over different areas of when his sister does something and he could be more proactive and leading her away.

Or let’s say a friend, you know, we say, you know, the teacher says don’t do this. Or one of his friends’ parents tells them, Hey, don’t go over here. You know, you’re not allowed to go past this boundary line into the woods, but the other boy wants to do it. And if my son follows, then he’s being passive and he’s abdicating his role that God called them to live in as a leader. And so finding really clear cut examples of how your son does this or can do this in his own life really helps to move the needle forward and identifying how we can stop with being passive and reject that passively like assertively, aggressively rejecting pacivity, realizing it’s a sin. The second pillar is accepting responsibility, accepting responsibility. Now these two, they all kind of go hand in hand. All four of these were go hand in hand.

So how do you accept responsibility? What does that even mean? Well, mom and dad, that starts with you. You need to accept the responsibility that you’re called to raise kids according to God’s standard. You’re called to accept responsibility of how to plan your schedule so that you can invest time in your family. You’re accepting responsibility as a man of your family, that you are called by God to father your kids in a way that no one else is equipped and anointed by God or in the proximity to father your kids that way. And if you accept the responsibility of fathering them, of being the husband God called you to be and being the man at your work, being the man in your church, then you’ll realize that there are certain attributes that you need to espouse. There are certain activities you need to be involved in.

Accepting responsibility means when you see somebody in the community doing something wrong, like a man mistreating his kids, there’s a really good chance God’s calling you to step in the gap. Or if you see somebody talking negatively down to a woman, it’s a really good chance that God’s calling you to somehow involve yourself. I don’t mean go fight them or punch them or curse them out or you know, hit them over the head with your Bible because it’s huge. It could be calling them up. You know, I use humor in a lot of the ways that I approach people. I remember one time there was this guy, I was with my friend at this restaurant and it looked like he was there with the mother of these two or three kids. The kids who are vying for his attention. He was flirting with the waitress like ridiculously flirting while it looked like his wife was sitting there at the table.

My buddy and I are just going back and forth and we’re just getting frustrated and I finally just could not handle it. I jumped up and I hit him on the arm. You know, like you would have buddy asked me and aren’t kids just the greatest blessing doc could ever give us. And this guy looks at me, his jaw drops to the ground. I think I heard a crack and utilize like, ah, yeah. I said, is it, isn’t it great that we get to be in a relationship with their mom and we get to Ha and this guy is shocked. Oh, and by the way, at this point, I’m not even married. This is a long time ago. I’m not even married, but I could not stand watching these three kids circle around this guy while he flirts with another woman who’s not his wife and his wife’s just sits there with this look on her face.

That’s tragic. I could not be a part of that anymore. And so the, the, the God inside of me that the spirit of God rose up. And I just, I just activated. And then we had this conversation about five minutes and I went and sat down and if you know me well, you know, I’m very animated and my friend, he’s a drill sergeant for the military. Like, this guy looks apart, he’s intense. And he’s like, Bro, I was about to just go punch him in his face. I don’t know how you even did that. So I just want to say real men accept responsibility and they don’t just idly sit passively by. So what that looked like this weekend with my son, you were walking on this Riverside trail. It was beautiful out and this lady walked by, she was, she was pretty overweight and both of our shoes were untied.

I just had this split second thought. We pastor and we’re, you know, my son, they were walking slash running and playing around pretty fast. And I said, buddy, come here. And I just ran back to her and I put my hand on her shoulder gently and she goes, oh, she’s kind of the screen. Cause I startled her cause I came up from behind. I was, I’m so sorry but would you like me to tell your shoes? And she’s like, looks at me with these eyes and, and just the tears and the corner of beginning to form. She’s like, that would be great. And so I kneel down and I tie her shoes and it ends up, she tells me about what she does and she asked if I’m a pastor, of course I say I’m not. I said, that’s a really hard calling. I don’t, I’m not called to be a pastor.

Those guys lay their lives down in amazing ways. I said, but I have to do grab a counseling practice where we get to serve people every day. And she asked and started talking to me all the about all these questions about her son, her daughter in law, and my son. And I ended up praying for her right in the middle of everybody. Thousands of people around. It’s a Saturday and there’s just packed. And my son gets to see what it looks like to step into the gap of somebody needed that. And, and she’s, and she said, I could not reach my shoes to tie them. And they were so uncomfortable and I don’t know where my husband’s ad, he’s, he’s up here somewhere, but I’m just walking and I like, my shoes are slipping and I just thank you so much. And she was so gracious and so kind.

And you know, guys, there’s nothing unique about me that I can do that. I believe all of us have those opportunities with our kids. If we’re willing to lead, if we’re willing to move forward and what and who God’s called us to be and be willing to take advantage of the opportunities he gives us and really not just take advantage of opportunities, but pray and then look for those opportunities as well. Then we can see God moving in our lives and the lives of our children and amazing and incredible ways. Now these are the first two of the four pillars to raising a son who changes the world. Now I’m going to go over the next two and episode podcast number 43 so stay tuned. And today really we talked about the first two were reject passivity and accept responsibilities. How to raise your son to do this.

And the best way to do that is to you to be the example of what that looks like. And if you’re a single mom, you can never be a dad because God never calls you to be a dad. But you can bring people in their lives and you can do the best you can with what God’s given you. And I know that B, being from a single parent household with my mom raising me, that you can do amazing even with the circumstances you’re in today because God has for you and he’s on your side and you’re gonna do great things. I hope this is amazingly helpful and I’m so thankful that you listened. You know, it would mean a lot to me if you would go rate us on New Vision counseling.live. And also if you say, Sean’s podcast was great, but I need more, uh, you know, my son’s out of controller, or I want to be a better man, or my marriage is on the rocks, or whatever the issues are that you’re facing today, I would encourage you to go to our website, New Vision counseling, gut live, reach out to us today, set up a scheduled appointment so that we can begin the process to seeing God’s best happen for you by joining you in your story.

You know, our mission at new business, we’re a place where we help you discover what better looks like for you, and then equip you with the tools to create it. I look forward to talking with you again. Create an amazing day.