Hi everyone. I’m Sean McGuire and this is the New Vision counseling.live Christian marriage counseling Oklahoma City podcast, episode number 11 and the last two podcasts. I mean I really like the six keys to creating an amazing marriage because it’s, it’s such a simple way to incorporate life changing habits that don’t take much time like two minutes was the last two or two minutes was the first key, which was how to say goodbye, had to say goodbye so big because it sets the tone for the rest of your day of what you’re going to remember about your spouse when you leave, when you’re going through work, when you’re around attractive people, when you’re thinking about how to make decisions or how you feel about your spouse, what was just said or felt is how you’re going to lead through the day. So really big deal. The second key was how to say hello, how to come home over a union and why is that important or when I’m making decisions as a, as a guy who works outside the home of man, I’ve got this opportunity to go hang out with a buddy, go work out, go do an a sundry of different things.
If my home is a place that is as this gravitational pull on my heart because my kids are amazing because when I come home they, they welcome me and it’s a great place to be. Well then I’m going to make decisions throughout my day that are going to bring me home sooner and bring me home more consistently and then when, if I’m, if I’m tempted for to make a bad decision, whether it’s to go with a friend and drink or it’s to cheat on my wife, then I have this home where in a family and a wife or a spouse for you, that is great, that’s a good place. I’m going to be really protected and really move away from that because my love tank is full and I’m not hungry, so I won’t be looking for a place to eat. All right. Those are those first two and why is this important?
Well, it Dave Ramsey talks about why you should invest, why you should pay off debt, and I would say he piggy on what he says have in Christian marriage counseling Oklahoma City. If you live like no other today, you can live like no other for the rest of your life. It’s just like investing. If you start investing when you’re 18 years old, 25 bucks a week, man, you love an amazing time when you’re in your forties as a millionaire because you’ll continue to titrate that up and your daily small investments will yield a compound interest of becoming a millionaire. Well, the same is true of your marriage. The unfortunate part is most people don’t take the time daily to put these simple habits that really guys takes only minutes. And what they allow to happen is when they get married they’re excited, they’re motivated because they have this emotional energy that propels you without much effort.
When you’re first married cause you’re excited. It’s new but over time just like anything you start to get busy with work and as guys were soap so tempted and women you these days to pursue a career over a relationship and we start to prioritize where we win consistently, making money, hitting deadlines, creating a team and a cultural or a business that we feel great about that we can control in a lot of ways and we let what we take for granted which is our marriage relationship, whether we’re Christian of Christian marriage or a non Christian marriage, we take it for granted and I know what Eben and Oklahoma City, this is an epidemic because we have so many other opportunities whether it’s kids sports, whether it’s kids activities with school that are scheduled out for us that we have to show up to practices, games, plays, school activities that we don’t make consistent time for dates for talking about non conflict situations about flirting, about game night.
How about family dinners? So guys, these are six keys and then we’ll make a difference in your marriage. Now listen, you may be listening saying, Sean, I’m way past these small little keys and habits. My marriage is on the verge of destruction, or is on life support or is dying. Hey, if that’s you, great news. We have a team of Christian marriage counseling Oklahoma City counselors and our mission, that New Vision counseling is we help you discover what better looks like for you. And then it could be with the tools to create it. And we’re very biblical principles with cutting gets counseling techniques and join you at whatever point of your store you’re in today. We join you. So if that’s you, go to our website, New Vision Christian marriage counseling Oklahoma City that live and reach out to his contact with schedule appointment with one of our compassionate and amazing therapist that will help you in your story today.
But for the rest of you, man, this’ll be great. So the third key to creating an amazing marriage is appreciation. Admiration. John Gottman studied all these principles and this is one of the pivotal keys. And this is actually the antidote that goes to curing contempt, which is one, if you’ve listened to all the podcasts, which I hope you have, the four horsemen of the apocalypse, John Gottman talks about are the devastating forces. If we have these in our marriage that will destroy any marriage, no matter how long you been married, no matter how great your marriage was, if all four of these are present your marriage, it’s only a matter of time before they sink like the titanic. This is the iceberg that will sink your marriage. So contempt is one of them. Criticisms another, and appreciation and admiration are the antivenom that will cure and help effect positive change in that area.
Now, hopefully you’re not there. If you are great news, you can still solve and heal. But for many of you, you can get ahead of this by curating a, keeping a journal daily look, and you could just write, hey, you know, I love this way. My spouse has beautiful hair. She takes such great care of herself. That’s what I would say about my wife or my wife reads to the kids daily. Out of the Bible or she reads the book of virtues to my kids. So it’s wired in life daily. I love how diligent she is. I could write that in my journal and know if you’re look at my gratitude journal, that’s one of the things you’ll find daily is something about my kids or my wife because I want to frame my day thinking positively and encouragingly, especially about the people that I say are the most important in my life and I think it will profoundly impact your life amazingly as well.
So how do you do that? Well, this hell, why do you do that? Well, this helps your partner feel valued. It helps your in your marriage then feel like they come to mind often throughout the day because it primes your mind of what is positive instead of focusing on why aren’t the dishes done, you know, why doesn’t my spouse discipline the kids effectively? Cause then I come into a mess or why am I talk down to all that? Well, so seeds into your future and that will be the harvest. You reap your sewing, the negativity into your future life. It’s called sowing and reaping. As Christians. Non Christians would call it the law of attraction, or you’re attracting the negative into your life. This is sowing seeds of life into your future and bringing in, bringing in that what you say you want the most, which is an amazing marriage.
So start meditating by framing your day by this grateful gratitude, admiration journal. It doesn’t have to take 10 minutes guys. It could take two minutes of getting the book out, riding in a little bit. And for some of you, this is called an exercise of faith. Because of where your relationship is at today, you might need to speak in faith. Faith is a substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen. And so you may be saying these positive attributes in faith because you’re believing God for your spouse to change in these areas. And Look, all this leads to verbalizing your valuing of your partner daily. So do this daily. Say positives to them. Techs, positives, hide in right in high notes throughout the house about positives, right cards. If you’re not very creative with words by a hallmark card. They had people that get paid millions every year to put these cards in our hands to succeed in areas that we may be weakened.
It take this personally. You know, one time my wife told me in front of the kids, which is if you know me at all, you say something positive in front of my kids and you wire in how to love well in a godly way in front of my kids, biggest one you can get. She says, honey, I see you get up every day so early and I value how you spend time with God diligently, how you love us, how you care for us. Have you fight for a highest possible good? And I would just tell you not hearts, my heart soared like an eagle. It was amazing. I was so blessed. I may have even come to tears. So think about how you can validate and value and admire and appreciate your spouse. It will revolutionalize the way that you think and the way that you experience the interactions with your spouse.
Now again, for many of you like me, you’ll need to do this in faith because when I first got married, my wife was like a miser, like scrooge with compliments. I remember at one point I wrote down all the things that was only like 10 things, and like, babe, please just pick one a day, just one a day and say them to me. But because of the way she was raised in her belief system, she thought it would make my head big. She thought I would be prideful and she just would not say any of these positive things with any consistency. So today I find myself in a very different area because I stopped looking to her to meet all those needs. I started to a lead in faith, trusting God for me to be the agent of change, for me to bring the love and the admiration to my marriage.
And I’m confident that with God’s grace and your faithfulness as a courageous person who loves your spouse, you’ll start this today. Hey, I hope this was amazingly helpful. You know, it really helps us if you would do us a favor and go share these podcasts, share our news and Christian marriage counseling Oklahoma City, Facebook and the Instagram because it gets the word out that you do not have to stay stuck and your relationship patterns and your parenting patterns. Even if you have low self esteem. We have made it our mission, God put it on our hearts to our mission is to help you discover what better looks like for you. Then equip you with the tools and resources to create it. That is our mission, that New Vision, counseling and marriage counseling and Christian marriage counseling and self esteem parenting. We have a team of counselors. We do Mary Biblical principles with cutting edge counseling techniques in Edmond, Oklahoma City and the greater world to serve you and your story.
So please share this with anyone that needs just as a word of encouragement that God has a great plan for your life and it begins review in these six keys, three of them you’ve got. You can also go to our website if you want to get this in video form. It’s much shorter, and it’s news and Christian marriage counseling Oklahoma City that lifts. Sign up for the free guide and we’ll send you an email that has six videos and you’ll get one per week. God bless and remember that God has created you for a purpose on purpose. So begin stepping into that today. Be Very intentional about the decisions you make. Look forward to talking with you again really soon. Thank you. Very. I think you’re.