Hey everyone. Good to see you. Just to let we have some new team members. No, no, not summer Smith. She’s been here. She goes all around the world, but she’s back now for the Dominican Republic. So we have our Catholic Gessler. She comes from

Austin, Texas, but Illinois originally.

Austin, Texas, but Illinois originally. And then we have Danna, right. You can’t go wrong when you have Mrs  and your Marriage Counselor Edmond and no, we have Sarah Marjan who is our newest, legitimately newest member. She’s going to be my assistant, which I need an assistant a lot and she’s going to help us with a brave, brave one, willing to go through the bowels of hell, get people and rescue them. And then she’s also going to help us with phones and administration. You have something amazing. We have some or Smith back from the Dominican Republic and she’s going to help you with five fears that can crash your calm. And what you may not know about summer is she is an almost world renowned EMDR therapists who specializes in helping people navigate through the most difficult seasons of their lives. And she’s fantastic. At it, you know, have you ever seen anybody anointed to do what they do? It’s her. She’s helped so many people that we meet. You’re very welcome that we’ve worked together great at bringing people no matter where they start through tragedy, through trauma to the place where they feel valued, love safe, and that they can go forward again with God in their life. So today she is an expert at talking about how to be calm, how to deal with these fears. Without further ado, New Vision counselings. Very young.

Thank you Sean. So dramatic every time and every time. If you’ll notice, I’ve just come back from some extravagant,

yeah, she’s pretty good. They earned her husband like to travel,

which by the way, I never

Mexico you have.

So as John was saying, one of, one of my, I guess my niche in therapy is that I love to work with, with people who, um, have experienced really life in general. I mean we all have our experiences and our different stories we all have, whether big or small, our own traumas and our own, um, skeletons or things that we’ve been through that have affected us. Um, so I see a lot of people and I think we all do in our practice, we see a lot of people with anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder, depression, marital conflict. But one thing that I see in just about every dig deep enough is this theme of fear. And so that’s what I want to talk about today because I think that fear is this underlying thing that can rob us of our ability to live, present and to really relax and be calm and just be, you know, in our, in the, in the moment.

And so I want to talk about not only fear but in practicing with people and just kind of studying people as we do. I’ve noticed that there seems to be five primary fears that five primary themes of fear that manifest most. I think insight is our gateway to recovery. Knowing upfront which, which one of these themes of fear might be driving us in our life or might be driving our clients is really a huge and helping us to help people and to help ourselves. So I want to just explore these five themes that I see and share a little bit about those with you and then encourage you to explore for yourself if any of these are plaguing you in your life or creeping up in your Marriage Counselor Edmond life or if you see them in your family or your Marriage Counselor Edmond because they can really hold you back

14 years today. Congratulations, David and Miguel. Amazing. Two days are going to like this. 14 years of Hawaii living in paradise with his wife. That’s amazing. I’m jealous. Mates who are all jealous, dude. Okay, so we’re looking at

these five different themes of fear, fear number one. I bet that we can all relate to this one on some level, but fear number one is the fear of failure. Think about how many times you have avoided trying something new or taking a risk because you were terrified that you would fail. Did you feel any of that when you were starting your practice?

Oh yeah. You know, a little known fact. My mom offered to pay half of the rent for new visions first six months. Did you pay the other half? So I have one fourth. I was scared. I was like, oh, can I do it? Can I not? I to solid patients. That lasted a little bit, then it got better and then I didn’t have any patients for awhile. So that probably provoked a lot of fear. It did. Probably didn’t feel super confident. Yeah. And so in that moment it would have been easy to pass on that opportunity. Right. And for sure it would have been easy to take another job and just go work for the man again. Right. Something that was a little,

a bit more certain. But when I think about the fear of failure, I think about, um, Joshua in, in the book of Joshua and how he, when he was about to go into battle task that was ahead of him. And I love, love, love the way that God confronted him and said, stand up. What are you doing down on your face? I love that so much because I think that’s a really good thing that we can turn to and that we can confront ourselves in those moments of fear saying, what are we doing? Stand up and again in Joshua, do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. So this scripture is tremendous if you’re feeling fear of any kind, knowing and just hearing that command of God. But I also really love, and this is on a completely different note, but what Wayne Gretzky Gretzky said, you miss 100% of the shots.

You do not take all heard that one. That’s a really good driving force. If that’s your, your Marriage Counselor Edmond fear as well. So fear number two, maybe this one is yours. The fear of what people will think. That to me is huge right now, more than ever, more than ever because of social media, because of man, this is just one. And we as a, as humans, we do have a natural desire to be liked and higher. So it’s, it’s true that we to some extent, but if the fear of what people think is holding us back from being our true self or living the life that we were designed to live, then that’s when it becomes a problem. That’s when it is really paralyzing us. Basically in proverbs 29 it says it’s dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust in the Lord, you are safe.

And so one thing that I, I, this is when I see a lot because just people dealing with insecurities or shame or feeling like they’re not enough or they’re not good enough. And so I think one, just a couple of resources for you, if this is one that comes up a lot in your own Marriage Counselor Edmond life, just not feeling comfortable in your Marriage Counselor Edmond own skin. There’s a book by Robert McGee called the search for significance. So good finding your worth as God created you and the gifts of imperfection by Bernay Brown where she gives you 10 10 guide posts, a to live a whole hearted life, exactly who you are and to find the colors for that. Renee Brown’s my hero. If I ever met her, I’m going to go full on fan girl.

Yeah. Yeah. And you liked her. You guys are good. But I really do.

Um, fear number three, the fear of being hurt, emotionally hurt. Right? Can you think of clients who’ve come to you and they’re saying, I’m struggling in relationships. I’m struggling in this area or that area because I’ve been hurt before. Somebody lied to me before somebody betrayed me before my parents did not meet my needs emotionally. They made me feel like I wasn’t important. Um,

so they don’t, they no risk, they don’t want to take the next risk because some of their previous experiences have been very hurtful and so it informs the way they make decisions in their future. So like even with my kids, you know, at youth group or things like that, when I encourage them to go out and meet new friends and step outside of different now then when you’re a differ now, like you were a kid, you just beat people up. That was okay back then. They didn’t, they rejected you today. We’ve got to talk to them. And they’d get us on social media and so there’s there, there truly is more risks, but it’s the same way to navigate through the fear as it’s always been in faith always gives us the courage to press through the fear. That’s right. Faith in God because God can make a bad situation, change us, and even if we can’t change the situation, we are changed and transformed through the process.

Lee and I have a scripture for this one too. If if turning to scripture, well, find rest in God. My hope comes from him. Truly, he is my rock and my salvation. He is my fortress. I will not be shaken. So if God is your fortress, you don’t need walls.

Wow, that’s really good. High Five. Oh Hey, that’ll go preaching counseling locked today. All of us will be using this in counseling today. Wait, say that again? That was so good. You need to say it.

He is my fortress, so I will not be shaken. If God is your Marriage Counselor Edmond fortress, you don’t need

walls up protection. That was good. Fear number four, I sort of like it.

Then control that one is underneath anxiety a lot. That one’s that the OCD that owns and you know, just fear of losing controls is a big one. Um, this is another, just like the walls, emotional walls we just talked about. Fear of losing control. That’s a maintaining control is just another defense mechanism that as we’re humans and we’ve had experiences, this is just another one of those bizarre things that we create to try to protect ourselves and feel comfortable in our day to day.

And those we love to write with our kids. Like for me, I know I’ve been towards wanting to control their environments because I want them to have a great experience. I want them to be valued. I’m so, it’s my anxiety that a lot of times it drives some of the behaviors trying to protect him. Right?

And so then we, we have this, this lie in our mind that if I can control everything, then I’ll be safe. Nothing will surprise me. Nothing will hurt me. I’ll just, you know, I think it comes out of that. Absolutely. So, but that’s could not be further from the truth. Um, and also how can we possibly live our lives if we’re carrying around a 50 ton backpack of attempted control? It’s heavy, it’s impossible. It will rob us again. It will crash our cone or rob us of our ability to truly live. And it’s, it’s impossible. So we know that God is in control. We know that he wrote our story before we even started living it. Um, and so I think one thing that we can do is confront ourselves with that one. If we notice control playing a role in our life, uh, to, to a detrimental point and give the control back to who it belongs to.

Um, but then also if, if you can’t let go of it, if you’re dealing with OCD or dealing with abusive behavior addiction, um, manipulation in relationships, all of these things that can manifest from a need to control, then seek therapy, you know, reach out to professional to help you through that on your Marriage Counselor Edmond own. And that’s perfectly fine. We see this fear of not being in control a lot and we can help with that. And fear number five. And these are in no particular orders, the way I put them down, a fear number five is the fear of being alone. And I see that one a lot with people. I think we all have have experienced that to some extent. Again, we as human beings are designed for love and connection. We crave love and belonging. Therefore, if something in our environment thinks that we’re going to be rejected, makes us think we’re going to be rejected or we will do all kinds of bizarre things to try to avoid that.

This is where some of the most bizarre human behavior comes from, is just trying to avoid feeling any of those things. We’ll do the strangest things. And so this is another thing that can come from deep rooted insecurity that can come from all walks of life and from childhood or beyond. And so that’s something you need help with. Let us help you with that. Um, and but the other thing is it’s, it’s really helpful to practice being alone to practice getting to know yourself. The Art of solitude. Exactly. Um, Maxwell Maltz said something, never be alone. So if this one is your fear, then I encourage you to get out there and spend some time with you. And then just again, kind of looking at all of these fears, all five maybe you deal a little bit with, with all five of them, maybe one of them, you know, it resonated with you today and you know, that’s the one for me that went overtakes everything. Seek, you know, seek additional help. Sure. Um, whether that’s praying and asking God for courage, casting your anxiety onto God, whether that’s reaching out to one of us or somebody in your Marriage Counselor Edmond for help, whether it’s reading one of those books we talked about, don’t be afraid to say, all right, that’s a thing. And then just always remembering a I closed and you’ll see this in my blog. Second Samuel seven, verse three, whatever you have in mind, go ahead and do it for the Lord is with you so you’re never alone.

That’s a really good scripture. Go ahead and do it for the Lord. That must be the message translation or the new living standard.

Go ahead and do this. The new international [inaudible], the one that I can understand, I’m

in Eugene. Here’s who can say, well guys, we thank you so much for joining in. Nutrition counseling.live nuvision counseling dot. Liv is a place where you can go and you can meet some of our therapists there. We have a team of people that marry biblical counseling, Biblical principles with cutting edge counseling techniques, and we want to join you in your Marriage Counselor Edmond today. For some of you, this has been great and this is enough and you can activate and get started changing your life. For more of you, you might want to meet some or one of our other team members to start joining you with where you’re at and bringing you walking with you to a better place that God has ordained for you and getting unstuck, getting healed again, free Miguel and all the opportunities God has and provision he has. Do you want to help you access and connect you to so reach out to us today, nutrition counseling.live. You can also follow us on our Instagram handle and Facebook handle our new vision counseling. Oh, OKC, even though we’re an Edmund, but it’s news and counseling OKC, and we’d love to hear from you. We do this every Tuesday around 1230 ish, I s h because you know, team meetings that we have, they go a little bit longer, sometimes shorter. We do our best to just communicate the love of God through practical strategies that can change your life. All right. God bless. And until we see you again, take Marriage Counselor Edmond care. Hi.