Colton Cochran. Hey everyone. Sean McGuire, the marriage counselor Edmond, here with Cleve and DNA. Happy. What are you today? Oh, happy Tuesday. That’s what the weather’s supposed to be so bad in Oklahoma that they canceled our homeschool. It’s true. It’s true. I know it sounds crazy because when they did it last night, I like how, how do you cancel a homeschool that makes no sense. Why you cancel homeschool? We have this call up that we go to. It’s at a church with all these their families and they canceled it. They said, you know, I think school should be out in, I guess the rest of the state. Agreed. Well, Hey, today or excited because [inaudible] has been working so hard. I’m bringing you a message that if you listen closely, you will likely impact the rest of your life. So without further ado, you wanting to say, tell us what’s it about Kellyanne deepening and strengthening your marriage relationships. That’s what we’re talking about today. And we do have one viewer today. Are we on that one? Yeah.
Yeah. We’re doing envision today. Oh, cool. We’re on New Vision, so let us know where you’re from. Yeah, yeah. Used to go on these platforms and have like millions and millions of people, like 5 million, but today we wanted to just hit close to home and see our peeps that are listening to the New Vision one. And so this is just for you? Yeah. This is only for you. Let us know where your phone. Oh, that’s awesome. It’s probably your wife. Hey, let me know.
All right, so here’s, here’s something that I wanted to bring up today. Since we are working with a marriage counselor Edmond, when we’re strengthening our marriage relationship and we’re, we’re finding ways to deepen that. Really we’re looking at communication that can really help us. So, um, there are different levels of communication. I just want to bring that into the conversation right now. Um, generally when we start talking to any person will use these four levels of communication and the number one would be, um, really just facts sharing. How’s the weather? What does it look like outside is a hot or cold. That’s just facturing. Then there’s a, the next level would be ideas and opinions. Well I think it’s really cold, man. This is too cold for me. That is an opinion about the weather. I like it today. It feels good to me.
You like it below zero. The nice thing is danger. He’s waiting for the ice. He’s waiting for that.
And then the third level of communication can offset oftentimes be the feelings and emotions. Are those, what are those? Do you guys have those? Do you ask my kids if I have feelings? So feelings and emotions and I dread weather like this or I love weather like this today. It’s just so, it means so much to me to have rain and ice. Uh, well that’s what it’s supposed to look like. [inaudible] there’s a fourth level and from a Christian perspective, when we’re doing, um, deep communication, oftentimes this fourth level can be the spiritual aspect. You know, this is what God sharing with me today. This is what he wants to impose. This is what he’s showing me about my life and who I am. And I just want to share that with you. That’s really that deep place. And that’s what we want. Marriage. So we encourage you to, to find ways to deepen your, your marriage relationship, deepen that communication like having a marriage counselor Edmond and using these, uh, just outlines that can help you know where you’re communicating at. So when we’re communicating, um, the first thing we’d love that we have to do is talk or we can just sit there and communicate something. But really the balance is communicating it. That’s right. It does a of your silence or past, these guys don’t know how to communicate through silence. Ben’s really good. Pretty good. Yeah. So I’m stone cold.
You, you can communicate through silence. You can communicate through body language. But what we want to really emphasize here is that bunny ears are totally awesome. Body language, body language is very important. Uh, communicating in those deeper levels is where we can really emphasize the significance of a relationship. So we want to dream when we’re communicating. We want to be face to face. We want to talk about our dreams. We want to talk about or directions for. That’s interesting relationship. Do you ever dream with Tanja? Yeah. What do you dream about Regina? About living on the beach? We dream about our cacs loving God with gene about loving God and their own when they’re apart from us, Virginia, about influencing thousands of people to families, women and husbands, to love their kids and raise them to love God and then them living their best life now, not waiting until the sweet by and by, but taking advantage of all these opportunities. Maybe they have gifts that they’re working in a corporation that doesn’t access those gifts and they need to take a risk and go out there and try. We dream. This is where we live, homie. So does [inaudible] live, do dreams deepen your relationship with him? With tandem? Yeah. Uh, sometimes we have different dreams. Like she wants his house like she’s trying to get at. I was like, man, there’s like 850,000 and I’m like, Babe, no way. No way on the hail or looking at us little people in the town. And it can be stressful if her dream puts a lot of work and stress on me because it feels like I need to accomplish that dream. But then there’s a lot of times when we dream about things, the Lord’s calling us too, that are bigger than us, that really kind of pushed back the envelope of how much we can accomplish. So that’s fine.
Even as Sean is talking, he’s talking about, you know, here’s the dreams, but then we talk about how that connects to God and immediately we, I get a sense that he’s going to a deeper place with, with his wife in that communication about those dreams. How about You Ben? What dreams do do you have with your wife dream? Does that one, do you like you’re holding hands and fall asleep? Yes. [inaudible] yeah, and I think we do, in talking about the same thing, I’ve been dreaming dreams a lot. Like this is what we want, this is what we want in our family. And um, we’re like dream a lot about vacations, do know. Um, but yeah, just dreaming together where we want to be. Um, yeah, so definitely think something. It’s something a marriage counselor Edmond taught us.
So when have you had the deepest communication in your relationships with your wives?
After I screwed up? Yeah. Same thing. I mean really after I’ve gotten angry about something or told her, you know, early on in our marriage and I had to educate her family on how are our family was going to live in, we call that boundaries as therapists. So that kind of speaks to you directly to the point of deep communication. Sometimes when you’re that deep communication place, it can be exhausting, can feel stressful, it can feel overwhelming. So when you’re talking about feelings and emotions, it can bring you to the place where it’s a lot. Especially for some guys.
Yeah. So if feel like my head’s going to blow off some times you guys are feeling away when you get home and your wife telling you about her, her friend who watched this show about this person and you had this car and then this kid and a dog happened. I’m like, I don’t know what, what’s what? What? What are you talking about? My daughter does the same thing and so somehow I learned so, so that makes me stressed out. So that’s something going to walk and we talk about other stuff.
Yeah. As soon as we start going into those deep places. What are you talking about? Facts all day. We can talk about what you need to get done. Any of your really in marriage, the average communication time per week for a couple is about 27 and a half minutes. That’s crazy. As crazy to me. That 74 and a half minutes for a week or when he gets that like every morning before he goes to work on this. And by the way he rolling past a marriage counselor Edmond.
And even in that communication it’s really about, hey, did you finish this task? Did you do that task? And that’s not fact sharing. And then you know what? I really didn’t enjoy this. And it gets into the employer. This is how I think it should be done. So in that 27 and a half minutes a week, a lot of couples, you just talking about the facts sharing or maybe some opinions, but it’s when you sit still and you start getting into deep conversation and you’re talking about how you feel, how you experience life, what you’re thinking about, about that situation. And then beyond, you know, this is what’s coming up inside of me and really owning that communication. You get to deeper levels. This can strengthen your marriage. It’s when you finally get to that place where you’re inviting God into it. You can have that deepest kind of communication, um, where it’s really, God, thank you so much for this opportunity to talk about you talk about you and our marriage and our relationship.
What do you think? How can we go before God? What is, what is the direction that we need here from God and really pursue that with, with one another. That’s where intimacy communication really occurs in communication. And so if you are looking at your communication and evaluating it with your spouse, think about where you’re sharing. Are you at a fact level where you’re just talking about what’s done or what needs to be done? Are you at an opinion level or an ideal level where it’s, it’s really about, oh, you know what? I think this could be a good idea to think not. And you’re just making decisions. Are you at a place where you’re really talking about the emotions? You know, even though we’re making these decisions, this is really hard or this is really good. I really enjoy this. Or to finally, are you getting to that spiritual place where you saying, man, this is hard decisions. Thank you God. We’re just so thankful and grateful for how you’re allowing us to get through the season of life. A marriage counselor Edmond is here for you. Any uh, other comments for you guys?
Hm. Strengthen and deepen that relationship with communication. One reflection. I was thinking as we were talking, one thing I’m really good at is talking about myself with my wife and things that are important to me. I struggle with to deepen that where it doesn’t get deeper sounds. I don’t listen to her really, really focus on her as much. Like I’m like, oh this let’s go out with me. And I find it really is really hard for me. So I’m just the, you know, equally do that, like put interest in her or things as well. And I think that’s when it really deepens as we’re both really interested in each other. It’s not just you be interested in me, you know, and then, and then I go with the other room. Yeah. Kind of thing. So that’s a big, deep inner for us is when we’re really talking together.
It’s probably even on the other side of, you know, I can take information right when I get home and I’m kind of dazed about coming from work, doing 10 hours sitting down at dinner and I just don’t want to talk. I don’t want to share. And I’m just, all right, tell me what your name was like, I don’t want to talk. Um, it’s when the day starts to slow down and I can just be present and that I start to give more back to my wife’s. Sophia, give her more encouragement about, you know, what you did really good today as a mother. You’re a wonderful mother of year, also a wonderful wife. Uh, you also encourage our business in these ways.
I think she’s watching bandwidth, your head, all the plants, this is flat. This is playing [inaudible] for me, one thing that helps me a lot is transitions. I went when I mentally make a transition of I’m a listener in my some so goal driven and my goal is to listen and hear you and help you to feel validated and loved. Like if I, if I’m intentional about that goal, I do way better. But if not, I, I mostly fall into the category. You said, Ben, my wife has, hey, how was your day? I was like, yeah, that was good. You know, and I’ll tell her about it and then we move it on to ask about her day. I wasn’t all full person does that, you know, we call that person would call him a man. Unless we’re intentional. It’s really hard to focus on the needs of somebody else.
So I know for me, being intentional and having that transition to switch out of listening to people who are coming to, they want it, they want help. They want us to navigate like I kids in our wives just want us to love them. Therapists, they don’t want to pick. They know. I’ll tell you right now, does your wife want to therapists? I know at least not in my therapy. I went cause the wall, my therapy, what were Caleb and Ben Saying? Cares what they say. I’ve been doing it longer. We’re fresh pick guys going to, we’re guys, uh, thank you for all of you listening today. I know. Believe really this message is close to his heart. Hopefully by the end of this conversation I’ll be out of the doghouse. But that remains to be seen if he spends the night at her house and gave him no, that’s a no. Look to a marriage counselor Edmond if you need to.
So guys, I hope this was helpful. We love to communicate the message of hope and love through counseling and we do that on Facebook. We do that on Instagram. Check out our, our counseling page, nuvision counseling.org it’s a place where there’s resources where there’s videos and testimonies of people who have been through counseling and they’ve experienced the power of God through the exceptional healthcare and counseling we’ve given them. And also it may be a place where you start your journey to what’s better in this season of life for you. And maybe your place where you say, you know, I’ve done this alone for so long and it’s just not working out and maybe this is your day. Maybe this is the moment of truth where the rubber meets the road and you finally take that next step. So you go to our counseling website, nuvision counseling.org contact Joe’s to phone or email and let us know when you want to get started, how we can serve you because we really do see transformation happen every day.
You know, I often say I see more change in a day here than I did in months, and maybe you guys would even say years at places I’ve worked at in the past because the kind of people that we get to see are willing and when you’re willing, then you really license God to bring the healing power of Jesus to every dimension of your life. Hey, I hope this was incredibly helpful. Hey, if you get a chance, I mean a lot to us. If you like us, if you follow us on Facebook, right? Assign Google. That’s how people find out that the counseling that we provide really does change lives, really does impact people and it can impact you. Tell your friends about your experience with your marriage counselor Edmond. God bless and we’ll see you again next week. Yup, Yup. All right. You have less.