Hi everyone, some Gueye here, a marriage counselor Edmond. My summer. He’s just back from Turks and Caicos. Bna. You uh, has a family there in North Edmond on a what? 35 40 acres. So guys today I’m red bull excited. Just kidding. I drink red bull, but I try to just talk about something that I probably need to hear as much as anybody out there. And it’s about delegation and you have a really cool title I, what’s the title? Don’t hesitate to delegate, don’t hesitate to delegate something else I want you guys to check out is a yeah, how to rap. I could do, that’s our next video by rack. I think Ben’s doing a rabid video though. It kind of goes back to his days in the streets, but how he put himself through college. So I want you to think about our new website is true north dot. Live. The, I said dot. Live. They said people would say, oh, that’s Liv. And so I’m wondering what you guys think. If I say live, is it l I v E or is it Liv?

You mean New Vision counseling.live?

Yes. Okay. Or nutrition counseling. Got Live. They were both spelled the same way. I’m just wondering what you guys would think if I said live or slide. So that’s an aside from the marriage counselor Edmond. But today don’t hesitate to delegate. Some are Smith is going to drop some knowledge bombs. Sure. Ham, honest and Ben may or may not be rapping in the background. Never know. We’ll see what happens and we cannot see anything. I’m going to try and get it towards like can you guys see us? They all wanted that, that up close and where we are now we can see somehow we could not see. Now we can see light has been shown. So welcome. Without further ado,

hi everybody. Um, yeah, so like you said, we’re talking about delegation today because April at New Vision is our month to focus on simplifying and what better way to simplify your life than to delegate some tasks. But I don’t, I don’t think that we tend to be very good at this. I think we often do hesitate to delegate and so I have an idea about three main reasons why we hesitate to delegate. So I’m going to, I’m going to tell you the three reasons that I personally think we do this. Um, I think we hesitate to delegate because we are people pleasers at heart and so we don’t want to put anyone out. So we have this idea in our mind that if I ask somebody to do something that I’m going to be putting them out and I’m know off. A lot of us are people pleasers and whether we want to admit it or not.

And so we don’t delegate because we don’t want to put any anyone out. Second reason we may do, may choose not to delegate when we should be delegating is that we have the false belief that we have to do at all that we should not delegate. We shouldn’t have to ask for help. And the number three reason, and I don’t, I don’t know about any of you, but I think I’m might be a little bit guilty of this as a marriage counselor Edmond. Number three, we are control freaks and we think that it won’t get done right if we don’t do it.

You know what she’s talking about? Any fellow control freaks out there who have that mindset like, ah, I got to do it myself or it’s not going to get done. Right. I’m so this way when it comes to folding the towels because I like them folded a certain way. And I may be guilty of refolding them after my kids told them, even though they were so great to do that for me. Isn’t that awful? So, so those are three reasons why I think we hesitate to delegate. So if you think that you might be falling victim to any of those false beliefs, then chances are you might be making your life more difficult than it has to be. And in the name of our April theme of simplifying things, we want to work more toward delegation. So, um, and actually this is something that, this is a theme that we see over and over [inaudible] in the Bible as delegation.

But I want to tell you my favorite delegation example from exodus 18. So you know, Jethro, Moses, Moses, his father is a first born or also known as bins firstborn. But so you know, Moses has done all this work leading the Israelites out of Egypt. He’s tolerating all this stuff. People driving them crazy, doing all this hard work and his father in law comes to visit lots of folks and his father in law of course is telling him how proud he is of him. But then he’s sitting back and he’s watching him in action and what I love what he says to him in regards to delegation because he says, what is this you are doing for the people? This is exodus 18 what is this you’re doing for the people? Why do you alone sit as a judge? What you are doing here is not good, very simple.

This is why I like this one cause he’s honorable. What you are doing here is not good you and these people will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you. You can not handle it alone. So listen to me now and I will give you some advice. Select capable men from all the people and appoint them that will make your load lighter because they will share it with you. What more simple and brilliant example of delegation. Then that one right there. But as a side note, I think we should also notice what he did not say. He did not say, Oh, you probably don’t want to put any of those poor Israelites out. You don’t want to put them out. Just let them hang out and relax and you do all the work. Moses’ because you’re supposed to do it all. He definitely did not say that.

Right. He also did not say there wasn’t a millennial live. How’s your luggage? Sorry, millennials. Sorry, that’s a millennial, right? $20 20 sure is. We’re killing young looking up. Just look at it. He also did not say, Moses, you’re the only one who can do it. Right. So you better do all of it. Right. So I think we have to pay just as much attention to what he did not say so that we can, as much as what he did catch ourselves whenever we catch ourselves saying, well, I have to do it all, or if it’s not going to get done right, if I don’t do it, you know? Okay. So this, I love this one from a marriage counselor Edmond. It’s a pretty straight forward example a to for us to go to and remember when we had it, when we’re hesitating to delegate that basically we can’t handle it alone.

We will wear our ourselves out and we should appoint some people to help lighten our load. It’s as simple as that. Um, but we do see this again, uh, almost this exact same thing again with Moses in Deuteronomy one he said to them, uh, to the people, you are too heavy a burden for me to carry alone. How can I bear your problems in your burdens and your disputes all by myself to some wise understanding and respected men and I will set them over you. So once again, he’s delegating, he’s choosing why is understanding respected men to help him out, to take some of that load. But I think this is a good time for us to also look at what he did not say. He did not say choose some random people off the street to interest with all your work and let’s just sit back and see what happens. Right? He did not say that he did not. So I think it’s also important to know when you’re practicing healthy delegation that you choose people that you know and trust to get the job done, which is what he said, you know, choose some wise understanding and respect and men to come in and help you out.

Yeah. One of the things that I heard a wise leader guy, you probably heard from Craig Rochelle, never heard of him. Yeah. He’s uh, he’s got a really small Baptist church in north side, real small rural town in Oklahoma. Yeah. But he said that the best hire, the best of the best fire you could ever make is a no hire. And I think one of the things I took from that is no matter how desperate we get, no matter how much of it bad situation we feel like we’re in or the needs we have, if we make a bad decision because we are desperate, then typically that bad decision is going to mushroom out, even as a marriage counselor Edmond. We’re bringing somebody that could potentially be toxic to our team. Even the healthy team that we have, the environment that’s working, Kim is going to be poisoned. So the best move is if you’re going to delegate, make sure that you vet that person, that you evaluate them, that you bring other people in that are wise to kind of look at them and make sure they’re a good fit and then you can begin to progressively and trust them with your resources, with your time, with responsibilities, right.

And let them build the trust and earn the value over that time that says they can have more opportunities, more responsibilities. Because I know personally I’ve had situations where people have burned me because I was either told that they were great or you know, fighting one guy. Even use Craig Rochelle as as a resource to kind of get my trust because you know how much I respect to Craig is the leader and he got into a situation and he was a charlatan. Yeah, he was his name. John. He tell he didn’t name dry. You do way more than a name. He acted like he was Craig’s best friend. And I think we need to be careful in this delegation of one, not letting people into soon, but also to not letting in the past that we’ve been burned in paralyzes us from really accessing this opportunity to delegate and to grow their leaders up or people in their lives around us so that we don’t own everything. Cause you know what I’ve realized in my own life, even even in that podcast we just listened to, is the more that I own, the more I’m responsible for, the more I’m responsible for, the more it just weighs on me. And the more weight I go going through life, it’s like me being 500 pounds. I can’t navigate stairs. I can’t play sports with my kids because I’ve got all this baggage I’m carrying. Right? But the more I delegate in healthy ways and the more I’m free to live the way God made us to me

in healthy ways. Cause I, we’re not meant to do it alone. But you’re exactly right. We have the delegate in healthy ways. Like, like we said, he, when he, when Moses was delegating, he did not say, let’s just choose some random people to do it. It just doesn’t matter who, just send me anybody. That’s not what he did. And that’s not what we should do either. And Sean’s really great at vetting people to come on his team as well. Um, and you know, obviously he chose very wisely with

Ben and I can’t get much better than that, but that, I mean, right?

Really he practiced, he values this team and a solid marriage counselor Edmond that he has in the work that we do and he wants it to be the right people. And so that’s how we should, should behave when we’re choosing to delegate even the smallest of tasks. Because if you want it done and you want it done effectively, you have to be wise about who you choose to do it. But let’s look at some specific ways, some specific ideas about delegation to put these things in action. So now we’ve got some biblical principles to guide us, but look at it. Looking at some different ways to delegate. So, number one, if you have a spouse or a partner or roommate, you guys, we should absolutely be delegating to that person, right? If we trust them enough or kids, oh, I’ll get there, don’t you worry. If we trust them enough to live in a house with them and be married to them, then we should actually should absolutely trust them enough with our, you know, with delegating.

But also it really makes for a healthy relationship. So if you’re not having conversations with your spouse about what is, what does tomorrow look like and what are you going to take care of them, what am I going to take care of? Or if it’s not clear which tasks belong to who in the household, like that’s a, that’s an easy fix. You know, one of the things, if you’ve ever done a simple assessment, and that’s one of the things that we go over in your premarital counseling and synthesis, who takes out the trash? Who Does the yard? Who Does the grocery shopping? Who decorates the house? I mean, you know, it’s you. That’s a perfect way to simplify as to know who does what. And if it feels like one of you are carrying more of a load than the other person, then maybe you read, you have that conversation again and say, you know, who does what? So delegating for sure with your spouse or the, you know, um, I’m confused. I think I go to work, my wife should have to do everything at home. Right?

Yeah. That’s what I thought too. My wife doesn’t agree. Does your wife agree people are throwing rocks at you right now through Facebook live hours? My Eye. Oh, important to delegate that stuff. Yeah, it really is. Yeah. Yeah. I’m just joking in case anybody’s wondering. Yeah, of course. Totally joking. But you, but even with that, Ben, you guys probably have some very specific ways that you’ve delegated yep. You know, household tasks, um, and financial tasks, paying bills, and then all the way down to the very small things of, you know, who takes out the trash, who takes the, the trash to the curb, who does the lawn, you know, those types of things. So that’s the baseline of delegating that we should be doing for sure is right there in our own home at work. Of course, with your coworkers or your team. I think it’s important to regularly reevaluate, you know, am I taking on too much as a marriage counselor Edmond? What tasks could I be delegating? And this really is whether you’re a coworker or your, definitely if you’re a leader, you know, I think you, you don’t want to be the type of leader who feels like you have to do all of it. Um, that’s, that’s not a good leadership move. It can feel like it is as the leader that you’re supposed to do everything, but that’s absolutely not a good a leadership move.

Um, it’ll crush you. It will crush you. You have control. Yeah. Okay. You can have growth, but you can’t have complete both, right? Yup. Yeah. Both. Right? That’s right.

So that’s a hard one to move away from, but it’s really important I think. And then just any, anybody in your support system, don’t forget that you have a support system and you can use those people for delegating certain things as well. Uh, and a big one in, Shawn mentioned this earlier, but man, if you’ve got kids at home and you are not delegating things are you’re washing dishes, why is why um, and robbing them of opportunities to become a better marriage counselor Edmond. Yeah. To be responsible for their own life so that, you know, as he, that is such a gift. Like I really see getting up early, my kids getting up rolling as a gift, we’re giving them so that for the rest of their life they have the superpower to get up early and accomplish whatever goals, whatever dreams, relationship with God, their spouse, their kids, that they’ll have that space for the rest of life. And the same thing is true when you give them responsibilities that they have an ownership in the house, that they care about the things that break, they care about, hey, why are you using all this dishes? Why are you, it matters then smiling because he knows that’s so true.

Yeah. I mean my kids, they just like 10 by the way. I do, I have like a dozen kids and every single time they need a drink of water, they come to the kitchen and I get a different cup. I’m like, oh, like why are there [inaudible] their hat in their kitchen, but then when they’re doing the dishes now they have a new appreciation for how many cubs they use. That’s 100% right. It’s true. But so delegating, yeah, to your kids as an opportunity for them and an opportunity for you and they make these really cool chore Charts. I just found one on Amazon. I wish I could show it to you, but I just bought it. It’s supposed to come in today. I’m stoked. Amazon prime. But like it’s, it’s a big magnet. It goes on the refrigerator and you list out every, every chore and then it says the days of the week in which person is assigned to that chore. And yes, and my husband and I decided we’re going to give ourselves some as well because if you don’t schedule it, it doesn’t happen. So we need to schedule our chores on there as well. But, so delegating with your kids, use a chore Chart, use whatever system that you see fit. But you know, just made me think about that. To what extent right now if your kids are getting old enough, to what extent could you be delegating some stuff to them and that’s an opportunity for you and opportunity for them to become a marriage counselor Edmond.

And then the last one is sometimes, especially if you can afford it, it comes time to say, you know what? I think I might need to delegate some things to professional there. There can be a season of your life that you might want to delegate some of your house cleaning to a professional cleaning service. There may be times you want to delegate your lawn to professional lawn mowers. Um, babysitters, other types of professionals that, like I said, if you’re at a season in your life where you can afford some of that stuff, I think that’s fantastic. Um, now that I have a dozen kids, I can’t afford anybody to help me come to my house anymore, but that doesn’t kiss the health thing. But I have a dozen kids told me that man there, it’s pretty pretty relaxing. You’re pretty amazing sometimes when you come home and and every other Wednesday and it’s just taking care of the lawn house. That is so great. So I think sometimes we feel guilty about that. We feel like we’re not supposed to do that. And that’s another thing with self care and delegation that some, you know, if you’ve got, if you, if you can do it, maybe consider delegating some things to professional. So those are just some, some things to get your wheels turning in in regards to delegation and things in ways that you might delegate, delegate to. Well I’ll honor my, I’ll say that later. I’ll end it with that cause that’s a really good end. Okay. Ben telepathically gave me that idea.

Well I’m, I’m coming to the end actually summarize by reminding us of Moses’s father-in-law’s words. Basically in paraphrasing, you cannot handle it alone. Select some capable men or women and appoint them because that will make your load lighter. So just please don’t hesitate to delegate. I’m guilty of it too, but let’s get this on our radar and let’s reach out for help. What was your knowledge?

So here’s my knowledge bomb. What some are just said about delegations. Great cause so many times in marriage and parenting in life, we try to handle all of our problems on our own and I just wanted to just extend the offer that we have a Christian counseling practice that we deal with. Basically everything that she just went over on a daily Blake on a daily basis. And I know that a lot of times as a marriage counselor Edmond we try to handle our marriage issues with ourselves. We try to handle our parenting issues. I believe in this so much and these guys can validate it that every, almost every day I’ll walk out, one of my friends will be in the lobby. One of the people that I know would be in the lobby from church. You know why? Because I value those friendships and relationships. And I think the people that I served with are the most amazing counselors in the United States.

And maybe the world even. I mean, I really believe this. And so I, I put a lot of influence into my, my friends, family, people in my peer at Church to get help to not navigate this life alone. And so the delegation of, you know, I’m not functioning in handling this well. I’m going to delegate this, figuring it out to a trained professional who marries biblical truths with cutting edge counting techniques to join you and your story today. And that’s why we exist, because we help you discover what better looks like for you and equip you with the tools to create it and reach out to us. We’d love to join you and your story. It’s true north dot. Live or live depending on [inaudible] spell [inaudible] saying, you know what? I have a friend named Trey Dixon. There’s this men’s ministry. So it’s so, so it’s New Vision counseling.

I know you’re welcome. Try. We will appreciate it. So it’s a new vision, counseling.live. And he was in counseling.live. And true north is a men’s ministry by the way, that they just had a weekend experience this last weekend where somebody I know rededicated their lives, people got saved, was amazing. So that’s on my mind too. But they also, it’s delegating areas of your life that God’s saying, Hey, time to give this up and get outside help to change your life for the better. So I hope that’s you today. And if there’s somebody you know, have them reach out to us. News and counseling.live and the, see what we can do when you invite us into your story today. As a marriage counselor Edmond, we love helping. Hey, if this has been helpful, please go to Google. Rate us. It means the world to us on Facebook as well. And God bless. We will see you again next Tuesday, 1230 I never want to see you soon.