4 Signs of a Broken Marriage

Posted by Shawn on  May 5, 2023
Category: Uncategorized

Every marriage is going to come with its own trials and tribulations. However, it is important to identify if your marriage needs to be repaired. It is not uncommon to ignore the problems you are having with your spouse in hopes that they will one day fix themselves. But, when there are broken parts to a marriage it is critical that you face them head on.

This blog will highlight common signs of a broken marriage in order to help you recognize when you and your spouse might need external help.


One sign of a broken marriage is that you are unable to express yourself or have a sense of individuality. In a marriage you should be able to comfortably talk about your point of view on certain issues and also be able to see things from your spouse’s perspective. It is a problem if your opinion is consistently getting dismissed by your spouse because that means they are not viewing you as an equal.

Another way your spouse could be controlling you is by limiting what you have access to on a daily basis. This could be access to financial information, specific people, or even access to their help around the house. For example, your spouse could be depriving you of friendships by refusing to watch the kids when you have birthday dinner.


Excessive criticism is another sign of a broken marriage. Throughout your life your spouse should be your biggest supporter and encourager. They should not be the one making you feel bad or insecure about yourself.

Criticism can be good if it is used correctly. It can be a way to grow and develop in your marriage. It can also be negative when there is shame behind what you are saying to your partner or if you are nit picking their actions.

It is important to focus on your own feelings when you are going to criticize your spouse. For example, instead of saying “it is so annoying when you play video games with your friends and don’t give me any attention.” Instead try focusing on how the action makes you feel. “I feel so unloved when we don’t make time for each other.”


A lack of intimacy can mean many different things. Initially what comes to most people’s minds is a lack of sexual intercourse, but that is not the only way your marriage can lack intimacy. It can lack physical intimacy in other ways such as holding hands, cuddling, or kissing each other goodbye. It can also lack emotional intimacy. This can be because as a couple you no longer enjoy spending time together, talking about intellectual topics, or there is a decrease in spiritual closeness.


Secrets can be a good sign that there is a brokenness in your marriage. Secrets can cause there to be distance and barriers between you and your spouse. If you are keeping secrets from your spouse, you need to understand what is driving that. Are you scared of how they are going to respond? Do you not trust them with the information you are keeping from them? Do you know that your actions are wrong?


If you are feeling as though your marriage has broken pieces that need mending, you are at the right place. At New Vision Counseling and Consulting we have trained therapists that will help you and your spouse feel whole again. The best next step is to contact us at (405) 921-7776 to learn more about how we help you.


Gaslighting is a type of psychological manipulation in which someone attempts to discredit your reality and make you doubt your own sensations in order to control you. This tactic is kept in the back pockets of narcissists and is frequently used to achieve what they desire and impose dominance over others. Controlling people who abuse their relationships emotionally are frequently guilty of this. If you’re in a relationship with someone who gaslights you, you’re probably feeling a lot of self-doubt and maybe questioning your identity. Gaslighting is a common method used to exert control over one person in a relationship, although it is not limited to romance. A manipulative individual could be a supervisor, a friend, or a family member. However, the closer you are to the individual who gaslights you, the more difficult it is to stand your position.


If you are in a relationship with someone who is gaslighting you, you may detect an imbalance of power after reading this blog. Despite evidence to the contrary, it may appear that this individual does nothing wrong and always has the upper hand. A gaslighting partner may distort your perception of reality and drive you to doubt yourself. They frequently engage in destructive or dismissive behavior and then fail to accept responsibility for their conduct. They refuse to validate your damaged feelings and can talk themselves out of any situation.Shifting responsibility onto others comes naturally to people who gaslight others. After all, you’re just making stuff up, right? Remember that the deeper their hooks sink in, the more you doubt your sanity. Manipulative people will make you feel isolated, inadequate, and insecure. Worse, when you eventually summon the confidence to confront them, they have an answer for everything.


You’re being very dramatic.
You’re just being paranoid.
You forced me to act this way, so why do you keep bringing it up?
You’re exaggerating the situation.
You can’t handle a joke.
You’re overly sensitive.
It wasn’t such a huge deal.
This is simply your own fear.
That never occurred.


Setting limits is the first step toward breaking away from manipulation. Recognize the person who is gaslighting you, but inform them that you have your own reality. You have the right to express yourself, and your experience is genuine. Keep a notebook of conversations and occurrences to help you stand firm in the truth of what happened rather than the manipulative spin of the gaslighter. This can help you feel more normal and gradually regain your self-confidence. You will be able to see through their lies once you start doing this. Here are some sentences you can use to break their power over you. Most gaslighters will try to push past any boundaries you set, so be prepared to enforce them. Depending on the degree of the gaslighting, you might create a vocal boundary and other times you might simply leave the scene. These are only a few things to think about or say.
I don’t feel like I’m being heard, therefore I’m going to take a vacation from this debate.
You do not have to agree with me since I know how I feel.
I am free to have my own feelings, and I will leave if you continue to tell me that my feelings are incorrect or that I do not understand.
My experiences and opinions are valid, I understand, but my experience was different, and I will hang up if you continue to speak to me in this manner.
I’m done with this conversation until you’re ready to examine my points of view.


If you need assistance regaining your confidence, we are here to help. Knowing you’re being abused mentally and breaking away are two whole different things. We understand how frightening it can be to confront someone who has been gaslighting you. This is where we provide you the tools you need to build healthy boundaries both internally and externally with the other person. A person who employs gaslighting to achieve their goals may never respect your opinions, but they don’t have to. One method to begin breaking away from their influence is to ask for space or inform them that you will talk when they can be reasonable and courteous.

At New Vision Counseling and Consulting, we will give you the confidence to leave settings that no longer serve you (also known as gaslighting). We are pleased for the opportunity to accompany you on your journey and empower you to go beyond simply surviving to living a life you love. We look forward to hearing from you and are delighted to tailor your therapy experience to your specific needs! You can begin right away by dialing (405) 921-7776 for additional information.

We are expected to care for those around us as women. We transform a house into a house. Food is used to create meals. We encourage our spouses and serve as a constant reminder of their strength and value. We do, however, have a ton of other obligations right now more than ever. Many of us struggle to find time for self-care because we have careers, families, children, sports, extracurricular activities, and other commitments.

Not giving your husband the leftovers is an essential component of a happy marriage. By leftovers, what do I mean? The work and energy you have left over after taking care of your everyday tasks are referred to as leftovers. If you’re anything like me, you’re worn out by the end of the day. Offering our husbands this meager quantity of energy may be interpreted as giving them something as a reward for becoming our wives. Your relationship with God should come first before your marriage. The advice given here can help you strengthen your marriage by putting your husband first.


The majority of us women find this following Biblical command to be both extremely vital and extremely difficult. At the very least, the verse that comes after has presented challenges for me: Wives, submit to your own husbands as you to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22). To be clear, there are situations in which you should not obey your husband. For instance, this scripture does not imply that you should serve him as his slave or submit to a manipulative abuser, a cheater, or a person who is encouraging you and your family to commit sin. For the majority of us, this does require us to make remembering to submit a critical habit. Additionally, in a happy marriage, the spouse won’t ORDER you to submit. He’ll want you to put your faith in him and do as he says. Additionally, he will respect your strengths and give credit where credit is due for your insight or aptitude. The majority of men need to be told about this chance for growth before being assisted in taking it.

Thankfully, we are not the only ones who must obey and submit to God. Because the Bible commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25), men are also held accountable. The “All about me” mentality of today’s culture may make this appear out of date, but if you want to have a fantastic marriage, you must hold these characteristics dear to your heart. And sure, that implies that a husband is required to love and guide his wife and family selflessly. He is obligated to love his wife to the point of giving his life for her, just as Christ did for us.

how to begin. Encourage your husband the most! He needs your support and your ongoing encouragement. He will be more likely to fulfill your demands and the needs of your children if you continue to build him up.


Praying for your husband is one of the most altruistic and effective things you can do for him. No man can close the doors that prayer opens! Ask God to bless your husband abundantly while keeping him close to your heart. Why should your marriage be an exception? It is always wise to seek God’s guidance in relational problems that you are struggling with. According to Ecclesiastes 4:12, “a cord of three strands is not easily broken.” This implies that you and your spouse will become closer to one another as you grow closer to God.


When someone you love makes a mistake, it can be tempting to react badly, especially if that person is your spouse. Men work and communicate differently than women, as is well known. This is important to keep in mind because I can almost certainly guarantee that you’ve just gotten into a conflict that could have been avoided with the right strategy. I am aware of how simple it is to feel irritated when things are not precisely how they should be after a long day at work. If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably spoken a phrase to the effect of “You were home all day, why aren’t the dishes clean?” Alternatively, “Why don’t you just put your socks in the hamper rather than on the floor?” However, what could seem like a light-hearted remark to women can strike deep and plunge males into a cycle of humiliation. Change your focus from “who” to “what,” instead. Keep in mind that it’s you and your husband against the issue and not you against him.


Treating your marriage as the most difficult yet rewarding relationship you can create will ensure that you get the most out of it. Knowing where to turn when your marriage is having problems can be difficult. Relationship problems can be challenging for partners to see clearly because of emotions, routines, and misconceptions.

We provide a compassionate and transformational approach at New Vision Counseling and Consulting to assist you and your husband in building the marriage of your dreams. We can be of assistance whether you are having trouble reaching a consensus, need to move past a betrayal, or just want to enhance communication in your marriage. Thousands of couples have benefited from the years of experience and therapy through dysfunctional patterns provided by our staff of marriage and family therapists. We offer a sympathetic and judgment-free setting where you and your partner can feel comfortable talking about problems you wish to solve. By dialing (405) 921-7776, you can start putting money into your relationship right away.

3 Red Flags Found in Gaslighting

Posted by Shawn on  May 5, 2023
Category: Uncategorized

The definition of gaslighting is to manipulate someone using psychological methods into questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning. When there is a gaslighter in a relationship, there is also a victim. In this case being a victim means that you are receiving emotional damage from the actions or words of another person. If you are being gaslighted by a friend, significant other, or family member you might be feeling as though you are going crazy. This blog will help you identify 3 red flags you can identiy in a person who is gaslighting you.


A gaslighter will make you think that what you recall about a situation or conversation never happened. They will do this by persistently fighting against what you know is true until you somehow feel that you have recalled the situation wrong. There are many different ways someone can do this, but two examples come to mind.

One is triangulation. Triangulation is when a gaslighter tells you something to tell someone else. When you relay the message to them the gaslighter then denies ever saying that.

The second is by denial. They will deny any bad or offensive acts that they have done. For example, say you are dating someone and when they were in the bathroom you saw a notification from a dating app pop up on their phone. A gaslighter will deny and manipulate you into thinking that what you saw was wrong or was never there.


Another common behavior that gaslighters will use is the act of reputation dragging. They will do this by calling you out or telling embarrassing stories in front of other people. There are a couple reasons that a gaslighter might do this to you, but the main one is so that they can isolate you from other people. By doing this they gain more power and control over you.


A common tactic used by gaslighters is the act of dismissing your feelings. They will try to make your emotions feel unacceptable, insignificant, or inaccurate. By doing this you will start to feel that you are in the wrong and put the blame on yourself.

If your feelings are being minimized, you might start to catch yourself:

Apologizing repeatedly
Avoiding friends and loved ones
Wondering if you are too sensitive
Unable to be yourself
Constantly overthinking and confused
Walking on eggshells


If after reading this blog you have realized you are a victim of gaslighting, we can help you. At New Vision Counseling and Consulting, we have trained therapists who can walk with you as you navigate the painful consequences of gaslighting. You CAN escape the abuse and start to feel more like yourself again. However, most people need help setting boundaries, making sense of reality and breaking free of their control. If this is something you are looking for and are ready to be valued and accepted, the best next step is to contact us at (405) 921-7776 to learn more about how we help you.


Your first few dates are easy to connect with and enjoyable. Once upon a time, your partner’s annoying habits were considered to be peculiar eccentricities rather than deal-breakers. Disagreements appeared less intimidating due to butterflies and chemistry, and it was simple to ignore your partner’s transgressions. But as soon as the novelty wears off, the things that once came naturally start to strain on your relationship. Another stage starts if you make the brave choice to accept a proposal. Every area of your life is momentarily taken over by the excitement of preparing your wedding. As you argue over flowers, try on outfits, and finalize the details for your big day, you are simultaneously overwhelmed with happiness and tension. Designing an ideal wedding is a popular pastime, but what about a dream marriage?


Marriage requires a lot of work and cannot be sustained without intention and effort. This is something that a lot of couples overlook, especially when they first get married. You make a lifetime commitment to your mate when you stand at the altar. It seems simple enough, no? What happens if the spark wanes and the partnership is strained by financial obligations, young children, and other everyday stressors? Although it may sound bad, this is a reality. Marriage takes place on days when we are ill, angry, and worn out. You can witness both the greatest and worst aspects of your partner. The cliched ratio of 50/50 comes to mind, yet for a marriage to last for good, each spouse needs to aim for 100/100. The three key components of a successful and long-lasting marriage are listed below.


We develop, mature, and change as we move through the stages of life. What once made us happy might not do so any longer. Perhaps a significant event has shaken your foundation and altered your entire outlook. Or perhaps as you’ve matured, your viewpoints have changed. We all undergo change, whether it comes gradually or all at once. The requirements and preferences of our relationships will alter as we do. This means that for your marriage to flourish, you and your partner must develop together rather than separately. Although it may seem cliche, this idea is crucial for marriage, especially if you married young.

Couples that promise to constantly learn more about one another make for marriages that last a lifetime! Be sure to get to know your companion well. What do they like to do? What music do they like best, and why? What television shows do they enjoy? These are enjoyable activities that most people prioritize in the early stages of relationships, but over time, this tendency may gradually disappear. Stop it, please!


One of the most crucial components of every relationship is communication, however this is frequently the area where couples have the greatest difficulty. It can be simple to assume that we know how our spouse is feeling or thinking after spending a lot of time together. As you continue to believe these things, intimacy and communication start to fade, leaving you and your partner with unfulfilled expectations. One of the quickest ways to ruin a relationship is to have these unmet expectations.

It might be challenging to recognize when your communication skills need improvement, particularly if you have developed bad behaviors that go back to infancy. Unfortunately, it is not unusual for people to have problematic family ties as children. The kind of home environment you grow up in has an impact on how you interact with people later in life. This implies that you might need to teach yourself how to use language properly again. Learn your partner’s preferred methods of communicating and how they interpret your communications. It’s also crucial to offer your partner a shoulder to cry on and an unbiased ear to listen with. It is simple to become preoccupied with responding that we lose sight of how to actually listen. Instead of responding when your spouse speaks, try to grasp what they are saying.


Adulthood comes with a ton of obligations and stress. You have responsibilities at work, debts to pay, and kids to take care of. The state of your marriage may suffer as a result, and these may take precedence in your life. The romance will gradually fade away if you don’t make it a point to date your spouse. Keep in mind what it was like to actually appreciate and have fun with one another. For a solid and enduring relationship, scheduling date nights and time alone with your spouse is essential. Since they will be your lifelong companion, learn to have fun and appreciate every moment of it. Don’t take things too seriously, and put your marriage first. Maintaining closeness and intimacy might make the rest of life feel less demanding.


Marriage is difficult! A marriage must possess these qualities in order to endure for a lifetime: compassion, selflessness, and tenacity. I like to remind people that they’re probably doing marriage incorrectly if it sounds simple. It can be challenging to navigate the shifting tides of life and relationships. We take great satisfaction in having therapists at New Vision Counseling and Consulting that are family and relationship-focused. We want your spouse to be by your side as you live the life you want. We offer the resources to assist you, whether you’re trying to develop healthy communication skills or heal a significant wound. We are the place for you if you want to learn healthy marriage behaviors or simply want to better understand your partner. Dial (405) 921-7776 to reach us.


Approaches to Social Anxiety

Posted by Shawn on  May 5, 2023
Category: Uncategorized

Do you struggle with severe social anxiety? You can experience the notion that anything you say or do has the potential to make you look foolish. Or perhaps the idea of being judged makes you feel anxious and prevents you from interacting with people. You don’t have to live this way; there are techniques to boost your self-assurance and comfort level in social situations.


Depending on factors including your personality, how frequently you engage with others, and past experiences, social encounters may feel more comfortable. You could find that honing your social skills might make all the difference if you frequently feel uneasy in social settings.

Knowing oneself is a crucial component of being optimistic in public. Gaining greater self-confidence will be quite beneficial when it comes to feeling more at ease and confident when dealing with people. The fear of what other people think of you will lessen when you are confident in who you are. You can recognize your strengths, passions, and relationship-enhancing qualities to boost your self-confidence.

You could also work on the following social skills:

conversing informally
Ask insightful questions and pay attention to the responses.
Your personal presentation
How you respond to criticism
Identifying your source of value
Increasing self-confidence
the capacity to refuse
Vivo exposure is the process of confronting something in real life to lessen your fear of it. Many other anxiety disorders can benefit from this, but in this instance, we’ll concentrate on social anxiety. By doing this, you stand a better chance of learning new information, feeling more at ease, and being safe when addressing your fear.


Let’s imagine you find it difficult to strike up a conversation with someone casually because you worry that you won’t have anything to say. Finding moments in your life where you can have informal interactions is how exposure in Vivo would function. You can do this by inviting your neighbor over for dinner, introducing yourself to the grocery store cashier, or asking a friend to help you do errands.


Finding relaxation methods that can put your body and mind at ease can be useful if you deal with social anxiety. There are numerous tried-and-true methods for overcoming daily stress and worry. At New Vision Counseling and Consulting, our therapists can guide you through various approaches as you begin to incorporate them into your daily life.

Here are a few illustrations of relaxing methods:

Body consciousness
Graphic Images
progressively relaxing the muscles
breath control drills
Meditation Prayer


We CAN assist you if you’re seeking for strategies to boost your self-assurance and comfort in social settings. We will accompany you while you confront your anxieties, develop self-assurance, and discover techniques for living a tranquil life. Call us at (405) 921-7776 as your next move to find out more about how we may best assist you.

Defining Boundaries: What You Should Know

Posted by Shawn on  May 5, 2023
Category: Uncategorized


I prefer to think of borders as being similar to the fence you build around your property line to keep your house safe. Your personal space and the space of your neighbors are separated by this fence. I immediately understand that I shouldn’t cross a fence without permission when I see one. However, both literally and figuratively speaking, not everyone gets the memo. Consider your own boundaries as a safeguard against other people. We keep some people at a distance while allowing others to approach us. Many people are unaware of their own personal limits, which makes them unaware that they are allowing others to walk on their metaphorical grass. This message is for you if you find it difficult to uphold sensible boundaries.


Setting appropriate boundaries with the people in our lives is our responsibility. Some people are unaware of this or were never taught how crucial it is for emotional health. A person with uneven boundaries would frequently take on other people’s emotional burdens, develop animosity toward other people for breaching limits that weren’t clearly defined, or feel powerless over their lives. One of the most prevalent types of boundary-breaking is the tendency to please others. You might have had overbearing parents as a child, or you might have felt the need to earn love. The outcome? unhealthy limits and the idea that we must perform chores in order to obtain affection.


A healthy and successful lifestyle depends on practicing self-care. If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably had moments where you put other people before yourself. This brings to mind the common airplane oxygen mask metaphor. In an emergency, adults are encouraged to put on their oxygen masks before assisting their children. Understand why? Before saving yourself, you must first save the others. The fact that you cannot pour from an empty glass is another powerful metaphor. This indicates that before you can give to others, you must give to yourself. Feeling stretched thin, overwhelmed, and worn out? These are all signs that you are finding it difficult to set appropriate limits with others around you.


When you set up appropriate boundaries with individuals around you, you will be astounded by how good you feel. The relationships that matter to us most need to be safeguarded. They could become upset when we initially decide to create boundaries with someone we love. I am aware that this is difficult, but it is essential for your wellbeing. Consider the opposition of others as confirmation that you have established good boundaries. Although it does take work, this is an excellent method to break the habit of putting others before yourself. Here are some guidelines for creating sound boundaries. Keep in mind that you must safeguard your emotional “grass!”

A clear standard that others know they must abide by if they wish to have a relationship with you is provided when you are proactive in boundary setting.

Restoring relational boundaries is more challenging because you have to teach other people how to treat you again. It could be difficult for them to perceive you and treat you differently when you have been that way for so long. It doesn’t have to be scary, but this may be! It usually indicates that you are making progress in defending your energy and wellbeing when others become unhappy while you are going through this process. And those that respect you and your relationship and are in good health will adapt to your new boundaries.
Put your needs first: You are better equipped to love yourself and those around you by keeping a balance between doing good things and taking care of yourself. We develop resentment towards other people when we let them physically or psychologically enter our personal space. This is a negative emotion that lowers the value of your relationships.

Be Intentional with Your Time: Productivity depends on us setting appropriate boundaries with the people and things we spend our time with. Keep in mind that you are not expected to pick up other people’s slack!

Next actions

Building and maintaining boundaries can be difficult, but once you do, you’ll have more time to live the life you desire! I have been in relationships—both romantic and familial—without good boundaries, and I experienced exhaustion and emptiness as a result. God did not design for us to live like this! Even Jesus had rules for his followers and the individuals he cared about. How would Jesus have performed miracles if he had spent all of his time trying to please other people? He most likely wouldn’t have, is the answer. You are not the only one who struggles to find time for your wonders. When you are having issues with respect, self-worth, or boundaries, it is advisable to get assistance, especially if you have never done so before. We at New Vision Counseling and Consulting want to help you create the life you’ve always wanted.

We have a highly skilled group of therapists who can help you create a plan for becoming better. Because we are aware of how challenging life may be, we have some straightforward suggestions and counsel for you. It is common to feel as though your current situation is blinding you. Let us evaluate the areas of your life that require change in a fair and compassionate manner. We take great pride in offering a safe workplace filled with compassion and empathy. Call us when you get a chance; we’re waiting and want to talk to you soon. Contact us by dialing 405-921-7776.




Grief: Managing Memories After a Loss

Posted by Shawn on  May 5, 2023
Category: Uncategorized

When a loved one dies, you could feel sorrowful again, sometimes even years later. The agony of loss is frequently made worse by reminders. You will have a better chance of advancing in your healing if you know what to expect and how to handle reminders of your loss.

On the anniversary of your loved one’s passing or during other auspicious dates throughout the year, grief could reappear. These terrible feelings, often referred to as an anniversary reaction, do not have to prevent you from healing. Their presence shows how much you valued and missed your loved one.

There are reminders everywhere

Some tributes to your loved one might be required, such as remembering the occasion of their loss, honoring their birthdays and anniversaries, or taking part in novel activities you know they would have enjoyed. Even ceremonies held in remembrance of other people can cause you to experience the sorrow of your own loss. Depending on the loss, they may occur when a person gives birth to a kid or when their eldest child completes college and moves away.

Sights, sounds, and fragrances can serve as triggers for memories as well. And when you least expect it, they could surprise you. While driving, you might pass a restaurant that your loved one liked. Or you play their favorite song on a playlist, and all of a sudden, you find yourself filled with emotion.


The course of grief is unpredictable. A loved one’s passing anniversary can trigger strong memories of the feelings and events that surrounded their loss. They may last for many days at a time or even longer in some circumstances. You might experience the same intense emotions and reactions on anniversaries as you did the first time you lost a loved one, including:

Depression Shock
Angry Outbursts
Guilt Difficulty Sleeping Fatigue

Years after a loss, when you come across recollections of your loved one’s demise, you could still feel depressed. As you continue to heal, take action to deal with remembrances of your loss.

Be ready

Reactions to anniversaries are common and often predictable. Knowing the likelihood of experiencing it can help you get ready for how you will react to it and increase your chance of recovery.

Think ahead

Plan your current successful techniques for any impending or anticipated reminders. When you might feel more alone or encounter reminders, plan a visit with friends or relatives.

Consider and feel

Instead of only mourning your loss, think back on your loved one’s wonderful qualities and the times you shared. It’s crucial to recognize that it’s appropriate to feel emotions, including sadness. It’s also crucial to give yourself permission to experience other feelings, such as joy and happiness.


One illustration is to dedicate a tree or make a donation in your loved one’s name. Getting things done and producing results may be therapeutic and healing.

Place relationships first

Pay attention to your relationships with friends and family. Draw near to them and take solace in their support and presence. Maybe think about signing up for a grieving support group. Make time for your faith, prayer, and hearing from God. This can be difficult, but maintaining healthy relationships throughout your healing process is essential if you want to start living again.


Grief never expires, and emotions to anniversaries could throw you into a tailspin. Even so, as you move through the agony of your loss, grieving typically becomes less strong with time.

Consider speaking with a grief counselor if your grief doesn’t seem to be getting better over time or if it’s getting in the way of your ability to go about your regular business. Depression, bodily ills, and many mental health issues can result from unresolved bereavement. However, with expert assistance, you may maintain your healing progress and reclaim a sense of direction and control in your life.

We are here for you if you’re ready to start the process of conquering your grief. Our staff of compassionate therapists at New Vision Counseling and Consulting is extremely skilled in assisting you in working through loss and building a life you want to be a part of. Please give us a call at (405) 921-7776 as the logical next step. Hopefully we’ll see you soon!

Adult Anxiety Interventions

Posted by Shawn on  May 5, 2023
Category: Uncategorized

If anxiety is not controlled, it can potentially take over your life and is more than simply ordinary stress. You end up feeling completely overburdened, worn out, and distracted. Numerous anxiety sufferers report having trouble sleeping, tense muscles, headaches, and racing thoughts. These are just a few examples of the destruction worry can cause in your body and psyche. This message is for you if you frequently experience fear or concern, find it difficult to unwind, or even experience panic attacks. The following advice will help you reduce your anxiety at home. We’ll also concentrate on beneficial treatments you can encounter if you choose to get help for your anxiety.


You enter a persistent state of hyperarousal when you are anxious, which is characterized by an elevated heart rate, nausea, trembling or shaking, shortness of breath, and excessive restlessness. The amount of adrenaline produced into your body increases while your nervous system is working overtime. This gets you ready to defend yourself against perceived threats brought on by intense discomfort. You can then fight, run, or freeze. You must discover how to unwind and breathe in order to combat this.

I am aware of your thoughts.”If it’s that easy, why do so many people have anxiety issues?” You’re not mistaken, but there are specific breathing and meditation techniques that focus on the amygdala, the brain’s fear region. Dr. Kate Truitt, a clinical psychologist and neuroscientist, invented this method, which is also known as CPR for the Amygdala or Self Havening. To access a brief guided meditation that you can use whenever you’re feeling nervous or triggered, click the link.


When anxiety is at its worst, your mind may feel overloaded and you could feel as though you have no control over the intrusive thoughts. These can include regrets about the past, emotional challenges that are currently occurring, and anxiety about the future. Being an anxious person trains your mind to always worry and anticipate the worse. Practicing mindfulness can help you keep your attention in the here and now. You can take a deep breath and view your anxious thoughts objectively.

The first step is to become aware of the worried thought, to acknowledge it, and to release oneself from its control. It’s not true just because you think it is. Many of the anxieties and fears that anxiety instills in the mind never come to pass. There are numerous methods to practice mindfulness, but a few of my favorites are keeping a journal of your reflections, making a list of things you are grateful for every day, and incorporating mindfulness into your regular prayer time.


Numerous sufferers of crippling anxiety are unable to control their symptoms on their own and opt to supplement their treatment with either pharmaceutical or therapeutic measures. Beyond the scope of this article, medications for anxiety are typically prescribed by a physician or psychiatrist. Cognitive behavioral therapies, which work to alter unhelpful thought patterns and the behaviors they are connected with, are frequently used in mental health therapy for anxiety.


Cognitive behavioral therapy makes use of the cognitive reframing technique. Your thinking life will be explored by mental health counselors with the aid of self-awareness exercises and thought journals. This hypothesis is predicated on the idea that your thoughts affect how you feel about the world around you. Though daunting at first, this is beneficial when you realize that while you have control over your ideas, the outside world does not. You can identify the antecedent that is triggering both the problematic thoughts and the subsequent behaviors if you are aware of your triggers and problematic ideas.

You can start changing your mind habits and developing a more positive view by becoming aware of skewed thinking patterns. You can teach your brain to respond in ways that make you happy and healthier by engaging in cognitive reframing. Although this is one of the most successful therapy interventions for anxiety, it is not a simple process and does require time to complete a thorough evaluation.

EMDR, or eye movement desensitization and processing

It’s challenging to operate and make good decisions when our minds are cluttered with painful memories and worried thoughts. A therapist will direct you during EMDR to concentrate on a distressing memory that is impairing your life and self-image. Then, while concentrating on bilateral eye movements, you will explain the sensations and feelings connected to this recollection.

Typically, a therapist will do this by presenting visual cues for you to concentrate on and move your eyes side to side while you process your upsetting memories. The technique is repeated over the course of numerous sessions—or however long it takes—to desensitize the emotions you connect with the memories so that you can heal. The therapist will then ask you how you feel. Through the use of guided memory processing, EMDR gives you the chance to alter the meaning and emotions attached to experiences that, if not adequately investigated and addressed, can contribute to mental illness.


We hope that these methods may help you on your path to recovery and wellness. But I am aware that dealing with worry on your own can be challenging. Many people battle anxiety on a daily basis for the entirety of their lives. Good news: You’re not required to. A team of therapists at New Vision Counseling and Consulting have a wealth of expertise assisting people with anxiety, and they will customize your therapeutic approaches to meet your specific requirements. We want you to feel at ease telling us your story so we can better your life and provide you with the resources you require to be your best self. Call us at (405) 921-7776 as soon as you are prepared to accept healing and guidance.





Ways to Get Your Wife Back

Posted by Shawn on  May 5, 2023
Category: Uncategorized

Let’s face it: Men have a limited knowledge of women since they are multifaceted people. There is a secret to getting her heart back if your marriage is having problems, even though you may not know what to do. Women need to feel comfortable in their relationships since they are emotional beings. Women’s primary relational requirements, in accordance with psychologist and internationally renowned relationship expert John Gottman, are emotional support and reliability. Here are some suggestions for balancing these requirements while maintaining a successful marriage.

Emotional sensitivity

Perhaps you’re unsure of what emotional attunement is. The good news is that we know the solution! Genuinely connecting on an emotional level with your wife is emotional attunement. Some examples include physically moving closer to her, demonstrating empathy, and actually caring when she expresses her feelings to you. Ask her questions, support her feelings, and listen without becoming defensive. She will feel safe being herself in this situation, and you’ll get major brownie points for this emotional connection.

Emotions can instantly make men run the other way, but if you want to have a healthy relationship, you must learn how to respond to emotional demands. Most guys automatically want to “fix” or “make it go away” when they see a woman in a bad emotional condition. This is most likely because males want to please their wives. It is simple to conclude that you done something wrong if your wife is unhappy. She frequently only wants your support and validation of her feelings, not to be fixed by you.


Being dependable entails coming across as your genuine, true self. Being accountable means doing what you say you’ll do. Women are intuitive by nature and may sense when you are not being sincere or carrying out a duty just for your own benefit. Make your wife feel special by doing something without expecting anything in return. Show her that you are there for her at difficult times and that you will always be there for her.

If you are able to, prepare dinner in advance for her when she gets home if she’s had a hard day. With her extracurricular activities, sports commitments, and piano lessons, does your wife appear worn out? Learn your children’s timetables so you can deliver them on time to their destinations. I can promise her that knowing she can rely on you to co-parent and be there in all aspects of life will relieve some of her burdens.


It’s no secret that communication between men and women differs. Women frequently ramble on for longer because they include details and dramatic effect… Although perhaps not entirely accurate, many guys would concur with this. Men tend to be direct, omit crucial information, and exhibit an almost dispassionate demeanor. You might disagree with this supposition as well, yet many ladies I know firmly believe it because to their prior experiences. The fact is that one of the toughest challenges in every relationship is effective communication. This becomes more and more obvious in partnerships that are fighting for their lives. Make careful to express your feelings to your wife. Don’t omit any details, and give your remarks considerable thought.


At their heart, all relationships can be seen as transactional processes. After a couple has been married and has shared a home for a while, habits and expectations start to build. This may be advantageous or detrimental. The initial effort you put into your connection establishes the future expectations. Unfortunately, a problem arises when these expectations are abruptly not satisfied. Everything else is filtered through this vicious loop because of this lower-quality relationship, which sets the bar for all other relationships. You understand that certain things about your wife irritate you, and vice versa. You both are aware of each other’s triggers, and when things are unhealthy, many people use this as a means of retaliation against their spouse.

Setting an example by taking the initiative and bringing about change can be challenging. What if this may influence the course of your marriage before you discard me? You won’t believe how important this is, but I’ll tell you why. Through his research and studies of relationships between men and women, John Gottman has learned the secrets to both successful and unsuccessful ones. He discovered that the majority of heterosexual relationships are either made or broken by the man. Don’t be the one to ruin your relationship! Set a good example for her, and she will probably gradually let down her guard and follow your lead.


We sincerely hope that you will find this communication to be useful and that you will take our suggestions into account. Due to the complexity of relationships, you might require more assistance than what we can provide through this blog. The good news is that you don’t need to lose heart if implementing these modifications is insufficient to save your marriage. You and your wife can feel seen, heard, and respected at New Vision Counseling and Consulting because of our secure, judgment-free environment. Our staff of compassionate and skilled counselors is here and prepared to lead you to the marriage of your dreams. Call (405-) 921-7776 if you’re ready to make the leap of faith and receive professional advice from our staff of compassionate therapists.




What Indicates a Toxic Marriage?

Posted by Shawn on  May 5, 2023
Category: Uncategorized

Marriage is meant to be a sacred union between two individuals who genuinely care for and love one another. Even yet, there are still circumstances in which a marriage might degenerate into toxicity. The person who previously made you feel cherished may end up being the only one who hurts you or betrays you. When one or both partners act in ways that consistently harm the other person’s bodily or mental well-being, the marriage is toxic. The warning symptoms of a toxic marriage are listed below.


Because of the continual criticism in a toxic marriage, you could start to believe that nothing you do or say is appropriate. You may feel neglected and unworthy if you are always under the impression that you are not living up to your partner’s expectations. Relationships of this kind can cause long-term emotional, psychological, and occasionally even bodily harm. Your inner voice is formed by the words that are said to you, and soon you will start to believe these damaging thoughts. Your self-esteem may suffer, and you can start to feel as though you deserve to be treated in this manner.


In a marriage, verbal abuse, a type of emotional abuse, may be extremely corrosive and depleting. You may be the victim of emotional abuse if your partner verbally assaults, belittles, or rants at you all the time. This kind of activity can have a long-term negative impact on your psychological health and create serious emotional distress. Something you tell someone for a long enough time will eventually come true. It’s possible that all of the derogatory things that are spoken to you start to settle in. It could be time to reassess your relationship because no one should be treated this way.


A controlling spouse is an indication that unwholesome habits are starting to develop in your marriage. While some abusive and controlling tendencies have good intentions, some dominating actions do. Control is a sign that your partner needs to maintain power over you or feels intimidated by you. Controlling behaviors can occasionally be sparked by feelings of fear or insecurity. In many other circumstances, it’s because they wish to change you into someone other than who you are. And any actions you take that deviate from the identity they have established for you will have unfavorable effects. In these circumstances, you can find yourself rationalizing your spouse’s negative actions to both yourself and other people. This is a clear indicator of an unhealthy marriage.


Cheating can take many different forms and is a serious blow to any marriage. At its most basic, infidelity frequently involves passion and selfishness, with numerous more underlying causes for why someone could cheat once or repeatedly. It is very difficult to restore trust once it has been damaged in this way, but it is possible if both parties are willing to put forth the effort. However, a spouse who consistently betrays you demonstrates that they do not appreciate or cherish your feelings. You could start to question what is wrong or lacking with you, but it takes two to make a relationship work and only one to ruin it. It is imperative that you seek professional marital therapy from a person skilled in mending marriages if you have even the slightest inkling that your marriage can be saved. Separation or distance (temporary or permanent) may be the best course of action if the connection has gone too far or if you do not feel safe.


The importance of communication in partnerships makes it a frequent reason for couples to seek marriage counseling. Because the language we all naturally use is a product of a combination of prior experiences, childhood circumstances, and different perspectives of the world around us, learning to communicate successfully may be a challenging undertaking. Communication styles are greatly influenced by culture as well. A relationship may be in peril and possibly contain unmet expectations if you and your partner are unable to talk honestly and openly.


The first step in dealing with toxic marriages is determining whether the union can be saved. Reconciliation is possible if you and your partner are both willing to put effort and commitment into improving your relationship. Regardless of your ultimate objective, it is advisable to seek professional advice if you feel that your surroundings is hazardous. Speaking with a qualified therapist can assist in locating the source of issues and offering practical remedies. At New Vision Counseling and Consulting, we place a high importance on assisting you in creating loving, healthy relationships that are characterized by excellent communication and trust. We can assist you whether you’re looking for advice on how to save your marriage or need help planning your future. A logical next step is straightforward if you’re willing to move toward a better marriage. Contact us by dialing (405) 921-7776.



How to Process Trauma on Your own

Posted by Shawn on  May 5, 2023
Category: Uncategorized

Trauma can be a challenging experience to overcome and can have lasting effects on your overall functioning and well-being. After experiencing trauma, you may struggle to find yourself again or become completely overwhelmed by the emotional wreckage that trauma has caused in your life. It is important to gain support by speaking with friends, loved ones, or a professional therapist if your trauma feels too intense to process alone. Below are some helpful tips to help you reduce the negative effects of trauma on your own until you are ready to take the next step to get help from others.


This is a great first step because it helps you identify what is wrong and hurting along with setting goals of what you want to see in you and your life in the future. When you are suffering from trauma, this task can seem almost impossible to do by yourself. However, if you are able to do this you can find tremendous benefits. If you are not then you may find yourself in the almost impossible position of trying to hit a target when you don’t know where it is or what it looks like.


Another step in processing trauma is to identify your triggers. An example of a trigger is a sound, smell, environment, or any other outside stimuli that wreaks havoc on your nervous system and takes you back to a traumatic place. Triggers elicit intense emotional reactions and can be difficult to cope with. Maybe a certain person causes your mind to go back to a horrible accident, or you hear a song that completely enmeshes your senses with fear and dread because it reminds you of your traumatic experience. Triggers are unique to everyone, so the way you choose to cope with yours is a personal decision. Once you have identified your triggers, you can begin to learn healthy coping skills and set plans for times when you are experiencing severe emotional distress.


Exercise helps to reduce stress levels and activates the release of endorphins in the body, which improve mood and overall functioning. Regular physical activity such as walking, jogging, or yoga can help you relax and process negative emotions and thoughts. Just thirty minutes of exercise daily can markedly reduce your symptoms and help you create a healthier outlook for both your inner thought life and your outward perception of experiences. Things may seem hopeless, but getting fresh air or taking your dog on a walk are scientifically proven ways to boost your resiliency.


Relaxation techniques can help reduce the amount of distress you experience when you are triggered by your trauma. This can be achieved by listening to relaxing music, practicing deep breathing exercises, meditating, or engaging in progressive muscle relaxation. Another great way to help you feel supported is to spend time with your pet. Knowing they are there to cuddle and accept you exactly as you are can be comforting and calming. When overwhelming thoughts and sensations take over your mind and body, remember that you are in control and you have the power to bring yourself back to reality. It can be scary and overwhelming, but over time, these techniques help reduce the intensity of your negative side effects.


Mindfulness exercises help you remain present and avoid negative thoughts about the past or future. Focusing on sensations such as your breathing pattern, the sound of your heartbeat, or feeling the wind on your skin can help focus and calm your mind. Traumatic triggers can transfer your body and mind back into a dangerous place, but you have the power to bring your mind back into a safe place. Initially, it can be difficult for your mind to focus, but you will eventually learn to control your thoughts and remain present in the moment rather than thinking of your past traumatic experiences.


Traumatic experiences not only change the way you process memories, emotions, and experiences but can also cause abnormal physiological effects on the mind, body, and soul. Brain scans of individuals who have experienced trauma show a remarkable difference in activity and chemistry in various regions of the brain. Understanding how serious trauma can be and how it affects your life is an important step to begin processing trauma on your own. Give yourself grace in these moments and realize that your trauma is a real thing that your body and mind have endured. Becoming educated in trauma aftermath can help you gain insight into why you are feeling the way you do. Reading books or articles that focus on healing can help prepare you for restoration.


If you find this message beneficial but realize you need professional help processing and working through your trauma, New Vision Counseling and Consulting is here to help guide you through your healing journey. Our compassionate and empathetic team of therapists is specifically trained to process trauma and will help you develop ways of coping and working through the pain that are right for you. We are here to provide a helping hand when you are hurting. We individualize treatment plans and goals based on your personal needs and lifestyle. We will provide the tools that are necessary for a healthy future full of healing and the ability to create a life with relationships that you want to be a part of. If you are ready to have someone who cares and is trained to help you then we are here for you and can be reached at (405) 921-7776



How do I Improve my Boundaries?

Posted by Shawn on  May 5, 2023
Category: Uncategorized

Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is essential for leading a fulfilling life. Personal boundaries exist to protect your physical, emotional, and mental well-being and encourage healthy relationships. When you clarify your boundaries, you open yourself up to the opportunity to nurture more satisfying relationships, manage your time and energy more effectively, and reduce your stress levels. Establishing boundaries is not easy, especially if you have a tendency to people-please. If you often say “yes” out of guilt or because you are afraid to upset others, then you know it is time to examine your boundaries. Below are some helpful tips to assist you in forming healthy boundaries in your life.


To begin, identify your values, feelings, and priorities. Consider what is important to you and how you want to protect it. A good way to begin this process is to reflect on your emotional state and identify what emotional triggers you experience in different situations. Once you clarify what values and emotions drive you, you will have a better idea of what boundaries to set. Beginning this process can be difficult, but one thing to remember is that if people are becoming upset by your new boundaries, you are heading in the right direction. Everyone should not have an infinite amount of access to your time, energy, and emotions, but reclaiming your life can cause others to become confused. This confusion can be diminished by having a healthy conversation about why and how you are reshaping your life. By setting proper boundaries you can increase your time management skills and create a safe space to recharge your emotional batteries.


Take responsibility for communicating your boundaries. To ensure that you are getting your point across, it is important to be firm, but also remember to be respectful. It is helpful to use “I” statements to explain how you are feeling without being confrontational. For example, you could say something like “When you talk to me in that tone of voice, I feel hurt and devalued.” This gives you the opportunity to explain how you feel without being accusatory or putting the blame on others. Your feelings are real and need to be validated. If someone in your life is not okay with this or tends to dismiss your feelings, it may be time to distance yourself and consider their role in your life.


Enforcing boundaries can be difficult, especially if you have never set limits with others. Be consistent with your boundaries despite attempts to override them. If someone repeatedly ignores your boundaries, speak up. It is helpful to remind them of your limits, but be prepared to walk away if necessary. Boundaries are a sign of respect and demonstrate you value the other person. Anyone who refuses to accept them may not have a spot in your future life. The life where you choose to be the best, most loving version of yourself. A good way to begin this process is to simply say “no” when you feel the need to do so. Having a set plan in place so that you can proactively respond, instead of react in the moment, can prevent you from sinking back into your old habits.


Self-care is so important if you desire to be a healthy and whole individual. This means caring for your emotional, mental, and physical self in a compassionate way. To practice emotional boundaries, consistently reflect on how you are feeling and take note when you notice a dip in your energy or mood. Doing so provides a road map for your limits and shows you where to draw the line in the future. To mentally care for your well-being, set limits on interactions with negative people and do not ruminate on negative subjects. Establishing healthy physical boundaries can include eating healthy foods and limiting sugar, or going to bed at the same time each night. This provides your body with stability and ensures you have the energy to get the things done that matter most to you.


Starting a new habit can seem intimidating but can be accomplished with the right help. We hope these guidelines encourage you to set healthy limits in your life. Should you have further questions about boundaries or need assistance in designing a life that inspires you, our therapists at New Vision Counseling and Consulting are here for you. We thrive on providing an understanding and compassionate space for you to share your story and get the help you need. Obtaining an empathetic and objective view of the obstacles that hold you back can be life-changing. Are you ready to begin your journey to a healthier you? Call today at (405) 921-7776

Depression can keep you mired in an unending pit of melancholy, passivity, and despair. It can appear impossible to complete ordinary chores, like getting out of bed. Thoughts like “Is life really worth living?” or “The future is hopeless anyway, so what’s the point?” may cross your mind. If so, you’re not the only one. One of the most widespread types of mental illness, depression is experienced by millions of individuals worldwide. It adversely impacts important relationships and results in a loss of joy, lost interest, changes in eating and sleeping habits, and changes in mood. Individuals who are depressed frequently suffer suicidal ideas and thoughts.

Get a professional assessment and diagnosis regarding your unique mix of symptoms and needs because depression frequently co-occurs with other illnesses, such as anxiety. One of the most crucial choices you can make is to seek out professional assistance. Counselors can provide you the direction, support, and tools you need to overcome your depression as they are trained to deal with mental health issues.


The counseling office serves as a secure setting for you to express your feelings and experiences during sessions. Counselors are aware of this ongoing struggle since depressive thoughts can turn dark when one is trapped inside of them. You don’t have to smooth over your angular edges or pretend that everything is fine. You can feel at ease being yourself in a judgment-free environment like the therapeutic setting. Counselors are available to help and uplift you as you battle depression. You can feel at peace with all facets of your sadness and mental troubles because of the unconditional acceptance and empathy that characterize the interaction between counselor and client. Although it takes time, it is worthwhile to put in the effort.


Counselors will teach you relaxation and stress-reduction methods as part of your treatment because these factors might make depression symptoms worse. These methods can include awareness, meditation, deep breathing, and muscular relaxation. I constantly emphasize the value of pausing. Inhale deeply, consider the big picture, and acknowledge that you are in charge of you. Affirmations spoken aloud or visualizing a serene setting can both be effective. Find a cheerful, liberated area in your thoughts to be. On a desolate beach, where I can only hear the sound of the waves lapping against the coast and see only a clear blue sky and white sand, I imagine myself to be safe. Allow yourself to explore your creativity and find the methods that are most effective for your emotional, mental, and spiritual health.


Counselors assist clients in reframing unfavorable ideas that can be contributing to their sadness. Using cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) strategies, which concentrate on detecting and altering unfavorable self-talk and erroneous thought patterns, is one way to do this. This is a fantastic approach to raise your mood and self-worth. Depressive thoughts can give you the impression that you are encased in gloom and darkness. You can develop a new, healthy mindset by taking an honest look at your thought process and eliminating the negativity that is aggravating your sadness. In order to identify where your thoughts are coming from and what provokes them, it can be helpful to track your thoughts during this therapeutic process.


Although depression can make you want to withdraw yourself, it is crucial to get help and support in order to recover. We are here at New Vision Counseling and Consulting to guide you through this procedure. We wish to give you the assistance and inspiration you need to regain your health. We are experts at helping people from different backgrounds, and we want you to feel appreciated at our office. We have therapists who focus on treating depression, and they are prepared to guide you through the dark into your upcoming season, which will be more luminous and full of life. You don’t have to fight depression by yourself. Call us at (405) 921-7776 if you’re ready to create a unique road map for life and vigor.


How does counseling for anxiety help?

Posted by Shawn on  May 5, 2023
Category: Uncategorized

Because it gives people the tools and techniques to better control their symptoms and address underlying problems, therapy can be a successful anxiety treatment. Here are several methods therapy can be beneficial:

Therapy offers a nonjudgmental, safe, and supportive setting where you can freely communicate your feelings and experiences without worrying about being judged or rejected. This might make you more at ease and self-assured as you investigate your anxiety and its underlying causes.
Therapy can assist in identifying and challenging negative beliefs and thoughts that cause anxiety. These thoughts and beliefs can then be challenged and replaced with more uplifting and realistic ones. The strength and frequency of anxious thoughts and sensations can be lessened as a result of this.

teaches coping mechanisms: Therapy can instruct you in coping mechanisms including breathing exercises, mindfulness, and relaxation methods. When anxiety strikes, one can utilize these techniques to lessen both its physical and mental symptoms.

Addresses underlying issues: Therapy can assist you in exploring and resolving issues including unresolved emotions, relationship challenges, or prior traumas. Therapy can help you gain a deeper comprehension of your anxiety and how to deal with it by addressing these concerns.
gives you a feeling of control: Anxiety can make you feel as though you are out of control. By giving you the means to manage your symptoms and by making you feel confident and in control, therapy can help you feel in control of your anxiety.

All things considered, counselling can be a helpful tool for anyone dealing with anxiety. Therapy can assist you in more effectively managing their anxiety and enhancing your quality of life by offering a safe and encouraging environment, teaching coping mechanisms, and addressing underlying concerns.

There is still hope if you feel like you need more even after finding this to be useful. To assist you, New Vision Counseling is here. We are a group of skilled therapists who care about you and will meet you where you are in order to support your healing and forward motion. Get continuous treatment from therapists that have been carefully vetted and are anxiety treatment specialists. Your therapy sessions will be safe and judgment-free to begin with. We walk alongside you and provide you with the support and tools you need to recover and get back to living. We’ll be by your side, encouraging you and helping you find the freedom and healing you strive for. The logical next step is to get in touch with them by dialing (405) 921-7776.


Posted by Shawn on  May 5, 2023
Category: Uncategorized

This may sound familiar to you. Your chest feels so tight that you can hardly breathe, and you are so anxious that you are unable to control your rushing thoughts. You find it impossible to carry out your everyday activities, you are beyond worn out, and you believe that no matter how hard you try, you will never be able to stop riding the emotional roller coaster of anxiety, sadness, and fury. Relationships, your career, and LIFE all feel so overwhelming that you’re not sure how much longer you can take it. And no matter how much guidance you receive, how many books you read, or how many Netflix series you binge watch, you simply cannot escape it. Can you identify?

I have wonderful news if you answered yes. true aid and true hope are available. You don’t have to endure these problems and deal with them by yourself. We know we can help you in real and transformative ways, and we are here for you.

Our staff of caring therapists at New Vision Counseling and Consulting is extensively trained in the most cutting-edge and effective therapy methods currently accessible. In order to meet you where you are, we blend the most effective counseling techniques with a Christian worldview.

We get to know the true you when you enter, not just the one you present to the outside world. We can design a plan that is suited to your particular needs and goals because we take the time to get to know the real you. You are encouraged to be who you truly are in this setting, perhaps for the first time ever. When the true self emerges, you will be able to receive the assistance you so much need.

Perhaps you’re wondering how we might assist. Based on your needs, each of our therapists use a variety of strong and efficient methods. Here are just a few illustrations of how we apply it.

Utilizing EMDR is one method for treating anxiety brought on by trauma. Even if it might be the cause of your anxiety, your mind and body both have the capacity to store trauma. You can frequently quickly relieve the pain of the trauma from your mind and body when we employ EMDR. With EMDR, we have witnessed incredible healing and often begin to see improvements after just two sessions.

The therapy known as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is another extremely effective treatment with a wide range of uses. CBT is a type of talk therapy that assists you in addressing issues by altering your thoughts and behaviors. This is beneficial for a variety of aspects of life, including anxiety, despair, and rage.

By assisting you in getting to know yourself so that you may lead yourself, we can also be of assistance. We assist you in becoming more conscious of how you are triggered and how anxiety affects your mind, body, and soul. Additionally, increased alternatives and power to alter your anxiety-related experiences come along with knowledge. We assist you in rewiring your negative neural connections and reframing them to be more positive. We do this in therapy so that you can lessen your anxiety when it is happening at the moments when you are experiencing it.

These are only a few of the methods in which we can assist you in overcoming your worries and anxiety. You and your needs determine how we can assist you. Instead of just listening from a chair, we’ll join you in telling your tale. When you ask for our assistance, we will fight for your best interests. When you visit New Vision Counseling and Consulting, your therapist will be there to encourage, support, and invite you to become the best version of yourself.

We can assist you if you found this useful and are looking for fresh, potent methods to lessen or get rid of worry. If you need assistance with anxiety or any other issue, please click the button or give us a call at (405) 921-7776. We are eager to meet you soon!

As a Christian, marriage is viewed as a sacred union that unites two people in mutual love, trust, and respect, with God as their foundation. The truth is that every relationship experiences ups and downs, and occasionally it may be necessary to seek expert advice from a marriage counselor. What, then, should a Christian anticipate from marriage counseling?

As a Christian, marriage is viewed as a sacred union that unites two people in mutual love, trust, and respect, with God as their foundation. The truth is that every relationship experiences ups and downs, and occasionally it may be necessary to seek expert advice from a marriage counselor. What, then, should a Christian anticipate from marriage counseling?


Prior to starting the healing process for your marriage, it is crucial to find a marriage counselor that has Christian principles and values. A Christian marriage counselor is qualified to comprehend the particular difficulties that Christian couples could have. They offer a secure, nonjudgmental setting where you and your partner may discuss worries and problems that are detrimental to your relationship. Additionally, a faith-based counseling environment can assist weave in Biblical principles and counsel throughout sessions to aid you and your spouse in becoming more spiritually connected to God.


To comprehend one another’s viewpoints and to teach you how to resolve conflicts when they can’t be resolved, your counselor will encourage open dialogue. They will also concentrate on enhancing your marriage’s spiritual foundation, enabling you both to put your confidence and trust in God. It’s simple to focus on what’s wrong when things in relationships go awry rather than taking a moment to involve the Lord in your difficulties. Nevertheless, the best thing you could do for your marriage is to seek healing from the Lord.


Christian marriage counseling places a strong emphasis on the value of forgiving others, confessing one’s sins, and the overwhelming nature of God’s love. Your therapist might advise you to ask for forgiveness from God and one another in order to end old grudges and resentments in your marriage. Counselors can also help you and your partner regain lost trust and increase intimacy in your relationship. A fantastic way to start the healing process and restoring trust is via accountability and prayer.


If you seek out faith-based counseling, you may anticipate receiving advice that is founded on God’s love and grace. The counselor can concentrate on fostering a deeper spiritual connection between the two of you. You will be prepared to handle the obstacles that life presents you with through prayer, scripture, and the application of therapeutic methods. God is present to guide us through human wants and lay the groundwork for a marriage based on grace and trust because He is aware that we live in a world that has been corrupted by sin.


The Bible outlines God’s perspective on marriage and the roles that each of us is intended to play. Women nurture and encourage their husbands through prayer, and husbands are accountable for leading their wives in the faith. Although these gender roles are less common in today’s culture, they nonetheless have a significant impact on the strength of your marriage. However, I want to remind you that we must cling to the ideas and wisdom of God rather than adopting worldly practices. You can restore your faith and your relationship with your spouse, God, and other people with the aid of a Christian counselor.


Christian marriage counseling is not a one-size-fits-all endeavor, it is crucial to keep in mind. Because every couple’s circumstance is different, each counselor will customize their strategy to meet your needs and those of your partner. However, you can save your marriage and create a solid partnership. If you find this message motivating but still require additional advice to mend your marriage, New Vision Counseling and Consulting may be the solution.

To help you improve your marriage and your walk with the Lord, we blend biblical principles with cutting-edge counseling approaches. We have therapists from a variety of backgrounds who will meet you where you are and lead you toward recovery. Although we are a faith-based organization, we wish to provide services that put you at ease regardless of your spirituality or religious beliefs. Our expert therapists are knowledgeable in all aspects of mental health and interpersonal relationships. We are eager to learn about you and work with you to create the marriage of your dreams. Contact our staff by dialing (405) 921-7776.

Beyond Worry: Therapy for Anxiety Disorders

Posted by Shawn on  May 5, 2023
Category: Uncategorized

Anxiety and worry are two emotions that people experience regularly. They can be overwhelming and difficult to control, causing many maladaptive responses. Therefore, it is essential to understand the difference between the two. Worry is a common occurrence that everyone engages in from time to time. It is a natural response to a situation that causes concern or uncertainty. Worry tends to be focused on a specific event or situation, and can often be alleviated by finding a solution or taking action. On the other hand, anxiety is a more intense and persistent feeling accompanied by physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, and increased heart rate. Anxiety tends to be broader and more generalized than worry and can be triggered by a variety of internal and external factors. We will briefly explore the various anxiety disorders and common therapeutic techniques that can be utilized to manage anxiety symptoms.

Types of Anxiety Disorders

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD): GAD is a widespread anxiety disorder that affects a large portion of the population. You may have GAD if you experience feelings of anxiety about everyday activities, rather than one specific event. Anxious feelings may stem from work, family, finances, social issues, or a combination of these. Common physical side effects can include headaches, fatigue, stomach upset, difficulty sleeping, sustained hyperarousal of your nervous system, and muscle tension.

Panic Disorder: Panic disorder frequently manifests as sudden and unexpected panic attacks, sometimes with no obvious causation. These intense periods of severe fear and uneasiness can last several minutes and cause debilitating symptoms such as shortness of breath, dizziness, increased heart rate, chest pains, nausea, and tunnel vision. Panic disorder symptoms are exacerbated by an intense fear of when the next unexpected attack will happen which can trap you in a fear cycle that habituates constantly. This cycle may further develop into agoraphobia which is a debilitating phobia that often prevents individuals from leaving their homes.

Social Anxiety Disorder: Can also be referred to as social phobia and is characterized by extreme fear concerning social situations. This fear may stem from past experiences of embarrassment, judgment, or conflict. If you suffer from this disorder, you likely avoid social events, public speaking, and group activities.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD): OCD is an anxiety disorder characterized by unwanted thoughts and repetitive behaviors or compulsions. People often feel that they have no control over their thoughts and are powerless to control the irrational behaviors that stem from these thoughts. Common obsessions are handwashing, persistent counting, or completing tasks in a specific order with a certain amount of repetition. However, there is a vast array of obsessions and compulsions that affect each person differently.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): PTSD usually develops after witnessing or experiencing a traumatic event. This could include an accident causing severe bodily or psychological injury, a physical attack, sexual abuse, a natural disaster, or the sudden loss of a loved one. People with PTSD suffer from recurrent thoughts or dreams about the event and they may avoid situations or people that remind them of their trauma.

Specific Phobias: Phobias are excessive, and often irrational fears, of specific things or situations. Some common forms of phobias pertain to heights, small spaces, crowds, spiders, and snakes. However, phobias affect each person differently.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT is the most common approach utilized in the therapeutic environment to counteract the negative effects of anxiety disorders. This modality focuses on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns contributing to anxiety. Your therapist will likely help you pinpoint the triggers that activate your anxiety which may include specific situations, stressful environments, or negative thoughts and emotions associated with a person or experience. You can then work together to develop strategies and coping mechanisms for managing your triggers such as relaxation techniques, deep breathing, and positive affirmations.

Exposure Therapy: Exposure therapy begins by exposing you to your fears or phobias in small, systematic increments to desensitize your psyche. Guided by your therapist, you will slowly build tolerance toward your anxiety and learn to manage the intensity of your symptoms.

Mindfulness-Based Therapy: Becoming mindful of your thoughts and emotions is an important step towards coping with your chronic anxiety symptoms. Mindfulness involves learning to focus on the present moment and accepting your thoughts and emotions without judgment. This is a particularly powerful technique for individuals who ruminate on negative thoughts or experience overwhelming fears associated with the future. Another common strategy utilized in mindfulness is referred to as “grounding.” This involves stimulating one of your five senses or finding tangible things in your immediate environment. This may look like splashing cold water on your face, taking a walk, or picking out five blue things that you can see at the current moment.


Worry is common and mostly manageable, but anxiety can be debilitating. Whether you have a specific anxiety disorder or still need help deciding, it is wise to seek professional help. New Vision Counseling and Consulting specializes in mental health counseling and can help you connect with a therapist that has your specific needs in mind. We are blessed to have a team of therapists who are highly trained and skilled in a broad range of therapeutic techniques and strategies. Seeking help can be intimidating, but we are here to help guide you through the process. We provide a non-judgmental environment that comforts our clients when they need it most. We want you to feel safe and empowered as you tackle your mental health obstacles so that you can live a life free from the confines of anxiety and other debilitating issues. If you are ready to make changes that transform then we are here for you. The next step is to contact us at (405) 921-7776



The term “gaslighting” has been circulating as a psychological term for a while. The attention that this term has received has helped people in identifying and naming specific dysfunctions that are occurring in their relationships, and it has empowered many to stand firm in their individual truths. Despite being aware of the phrase and comprehending what it means, many people still find it challenging to manage situations when they are the ones being gaslit. So let’s discuss how to avoid gaslighting and maintain your integrity:

1. Be able to spot gaslighting when it occurs

Typical gaslighting expressions:

“You’re making up stuff,”
“That never happened.”
“You’re being over the top.”
“You’re exaggerating the situation.”
When someone is gaslit on a regular basis, they begin to exhibit symptoms of poor self-esteem and emotional dependency on the abuser. You could feel a variety of feelings during a disagreement with someone who is gaslighting you, including confusion, anger, and frustration. You might also find yourself arguing aloud and in your head. This constant back and forth is draining and might undermine your confidence.
You can begin to end the loop once you can accurately identify gaslighting when it occurs in the present.

2. Remain firm in the truth

Gaslighting aims to cause the recipient to question their own reality. The person who is gaslighting you can be attempting to dodge responsibility while progressively creating emotional dependence within you. This leads to a great deal of internal confusion, which diminishes your confidence in your memories and self.

Hold strong to your truth and own your perspective! Don’t allow them to tell you how you feel. It sounds like saying “I know what I saw.”

3. Put things in writing

It can be beneficial to write things out as they happen to help you ground yourself in the truth. Write in a journal about your experiences, and make it a practice to read back over some of your entries daily. A journal is a fantastic tool for keeping track of events throughout time. This will increase your confidence in what you already know to be true.

4. Keep the discussion brief

When you start the conversation, be aware of your objectives. What do you hope to achieve? Resolve? What are the things you want to make clear? Someone who is gaslighting will lie openly, change the story, and downplay how you feel. Knowing your purpose before you start the conversation will prevent you from becoming sidetracked in any of the ways that a gaslighter might take you.

5. Be prepared to end the conversation

Additionally, the gaslighter may devise strategies like minimizing and deflection. Practice self-validation in these situations, and pay attention to when the conversation becomes unfair and repetitive. When you begin to notice that your reality is being dismissed, give yourself permission to exit the conversation.

To keep your perception of events, move away before the gaslighting becomes severe. Keep in mind that the gaslighter’s purpose is to make you doubt your reality.

6. Resist the urge to try and “outsmart” the gaslighter

Disengaging is the best course of action when facing a gaslighter. A gaslighting person will still find a way to deflect, minimize, or dismiss even if you come prepared with a ton of proof, including photos, videos, and more. It is essential to walk away with your unaltered reality.

7. Lean on your circle of supporters and tell the truth

If the person gaslighting you has narcissistic personality disorder, they may want to isolate you psychologically and make you emotionally dependent. We further absorb our truth when we communicate with our support system about our reality, what is happening, what we know, and what we have seen, witnessed, and experienced.


When someone is gaslighting you, it can be incredibly disorienting to talk to them. They make every effort to throw you off balance and shift the issue at hand so that you are now being blamed for “blowing things out of proportion, misunderstanding, being selfish..” when you are just sharing your feelings and making an effort to solve the problem.

It’s perfectly acceptable and often necessary to leave the conversation. You may find great help to stand in the truth by leaning on your support system and reading books and listening to podcasts on the issues you are facing with a gaslighter daily. Finally, learn to give yourself grace for what you are going through in the relationship and choose and get the help you need so you can live in reality and make healthy decisions for your future.

If you have found this to be helpful but need someone who can who cares and is specifically trained to help then there is hope. New Vision Counseling is here for you. We are a team of highly trained therapists who care and will meet you where you are and help you heal and move forward. We will be in your corner supporting and connecting you to the healing and freedom you long for. The next natural step can be to reach out by calling (405) 921-7776





Why Do I Struggle With Boundaries?

Posted by Shawn on  May 5, 2023
Category: Uncategorized

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” – Brene Brown

Boundaries are difficult to navigate especially if you have never been taught how to establish and maintain them. Some people are naturally able to set boundaries, but others need guidance and support. You likely struggle with boundaries if you are a people pleaser or have a sensitive and overly caring nature. This temperament motivates you to ensure others are happy but may cause you to neglect your own well-being. In order to design a life that promotes an ultimate sense of fulfillment and balance, healthy boundaries have to be formed. Boundaries not only teach others how to respect your limits but also provide guidelines to help you navigate life and practice self-care. Below are some common experiences that lead to habitually ineffective boundary formation.


The environment that you grow up in during your formative years dictates the rules and expectations that you place on yourself and others around you in adulthood. Parenting styles and relationship quality also have a huge impact on how you set boundaries. If you grew up with controlling parents, you likely have rigid boundaries and consistently seek unattainable perfection from both yourself and those around you. This leads you to consistently disrespect the opinions of others to make yourself feel satisfied or make others feel that they always fall short. If you had parents who unloaded their emotional wounds and negative feelings on your vulnerable and developing brain, you may feel like it is your responsibility to make sure others are okay, despite the discomfort you feel. Kids are not meant nor able to bear the burdens of adulthood. Being forced to do so prevents you from developing properly and can handicap you relationally until you learn how to form healthy habits.


Believe it or not, birth order does affect your personality formation. Maybe you were the baby of your family, so you got whatever you wanted. This leads to overstepping and expecting others to make you happy despite the personal consequences to them. Maybe you were the oldest of your siblings and your parents required you to care for your younger brothers or sisters. If so, you are likely the guardian of others and aim to protect them without caring if you are taken care of as well. Middle children are notorious for having relational struggles and identity crises. You grow up knowing that you are not the youngest, so you don’t get spoiled, and you’re not the oldest, so you don’t get the respect you desire. This can leave you in a state of mediocrity and not knowing what you want in life. Maybe you were an only child and all of your frequent interactions were with adults. This can cause you to be socially awkward and not understand how to communicate or seek emotional engagement with others your age, causing you to build impenetrable walls that others struggle to get through.


Conflict is uncomfortable for some and they will do anything necessary to avoid it. This causes you to submit to the will of others even if it goes against your convictions. Those who are prone to engage in people-pleasing behaviors will do whatever it takes to keep the peace. This attribute stems from certain personality characteristics and unhealthy communication skills. If you struggle to express your feelings or thoughts due to the fear of what others may think, you are not alone. It is important to know that sometimes the truth hurts, but others need to hear it regardless. Find your voice and have the courage to use it. Those who have an issue with this do not belong in your life.


If you experienced childhood trauma or abuse, you likely believe that you do not deserve to matter or have feelings. You may perceive that the formation of boundaries means you will be unloved or rejected, so you let others treat you badly to avoid being alone. Some people seek what they lacked during childhood and they neglect to form healthy boundaries to protect themselves. Did you grow up missing one parent, or were you abandoned? This leads to maladaptive behaviors in adulthood characterized by subconsciously, or consciously, finding relationships that mirror what you missed as a kid, even if they are harmful. This can cause you to seek unhealthy relationships as an adult or accept a false idea of love. Some believe they are not worthy of love or feel that they have to compromise themselves in order for others to stick around. This type of relational deficit is characterized by not standing up for yourself, your beliefs, or your values. You feel that going with the crowd is easier and this encourages you to be less of yourself. After all, it’s better to have unhealthy attachments, than be alone, right?


Being married to a covert narcissist or experiencing an abusive romantic relationship damages your self-esteem and influences you to believe you are not worthy of setting limits. You begin to disregard yourself and your needs. You may begin to distort your reality and focus all your energy on making your partner happy because then at least you are seen as a worthy individual. Emotional and mental abuse causes your brain to form unhealthy neural networks that lead you to accept harmful treatment. It starts in small doses and escalates to a point in which you can no longer tell the difference between their feelings and perceptions and your own. You may bend over backward to make others happy but feel resentful when you get overwhelmed or feel like nothing is ever good enough.


Boundaries are an essential part of life but can be difficult to enforce. Maybe you don’t want to hurt others, or you feel guilty when you say no. This is a common response, but not a healthy one. Boundaries protect you and ensure that others are not able to push you past your limits. Sounds simple enough, right? In my professional experience, a majority of people struggle severely with setting healthy boundaries. At New Vision Counseling and Consulting we can help you establish and maintain healthy boundaries. We can guide you to discovering your true self and then help you create healthy boundaries and habits that can lead you to a life of success and balance. Ready to take the next step toward your journey of healing? If yes then we are here for you at (405) 921-7776