Filling the Nest After It’s Empty: 3 Needs for Empty Nesters

Filling the Nest After It’s Empty: 3 Needs for Empty Nesters

Have you planned for an empty nest? It might be smart to start thinking about it. If you have already launched your children out of the nest, how’s your marriage?

When I meet with empty-nesters in my practice, I ask about how they are making it through the transition. For years life and schedules and attention has been focused on the children. Some couples manage to pay good attention to their marriage and to each other, and if this is you, you probably don’t need to read this blog but should consider Christian Counseling Edmond!  However, so many couples have to find a way to redefine their marriage and learn how to connect with each other again. Being a parent for so long changes you!

It’s sad and true that the divorce rate for empty-nesters is going up. There are many theories and reasons for why this is happening. I think the simplest reason and the one I focus on is this: The couples that divorce are the ones that are unable to reconnect as partners and spouses, and instead of figuring out how to connect to each other and love each other, they wind up in divorce court Christian Counseling Edmond.

Even if couples don’t get divorced, they often struggle to find their groove and truly enjoy each other again. Going from parent to partner is challenging for many. To help couples in this transition, I came up with three needs for empty-nesters to help them avoid either divorce or further emptiness when the kids move out Christian Counseling Edmond.

The first need is a plan! Everyone who has raised children says some version of this: You’re gonna look up one day and they’ll be gone. What this means is make a plan for what you would like life to look like after the last child leaves when they are in high school Christian Counseling Edmond. Start talking to each other now about your dreams and desires. What do you want your marriage to be like when you are no longer waiting up for your teenager to get home?

If your kids are already out of the house, it’s time to sit down together and make a plan about how you want to spend your time. Sometimes one partner might be doing just fine and assuming things are great, while the other partner is feeling lonely and frustrated. Take time to get on the same page. I encourage couples to start dating each other again Christian Counseling Edmond. You’ve got some catching up to do after years of being a parent.

The second need is purpose. What do you want out of life now that you have time to focus more on yourself and your marriage? What do you want to spend your time doing? I bet over the years you’ve had the thought that started with, “When the kids are out of the house, I am going to…” It’s time to remind yourself of those things you told yourself you would do. Is there a ministry at church that you could now be involved in Christian Counseling Edmond? Any hobbies?


I suggest finding ways to serve others and share your faith. Be purposeful in sharing your time and your experience with others. This is a unique time in life to find new ways to use your gifts.


The third need is plenty of sunshine and Christian Counseling Edmond! Okay, I pushed it there with the P’s! Get out and do things together—take walks, go to dinner, spend time in nature, etc. Do not spend all your time in the house missing your children and wondering where the time went! It is so easy to turn the TV on in the evenings and disengage. While there is nothing wrong with TV, I encourage you to have more in common than the TV shows you watch together.


Plan, Purpose, and Plenty of Sunshine! These are 3 needs for empty-nesters.


Before I conclude this blog, though, I want to address one more thing. We all need to be working on our marriages throughout our entire marriage, not just when things get difficult Christian Counseling Edmond. Couples who work on their marriages and focus on staying connected and in love with each other have less difficulties when things change, such as when children are born or when children move out of the house.


Working on your marriage now is the most important action you can take, even if it is not in crisis. Grab a book on marriage and learn how to improve Christian Counseling Edmond. Go to a marriage seminar together at least once a year. Listen to a marriage podcast together. Now is the time to work on your marriage.


If you find yourself in a difficult spot in your marriage, do not hesitate to reach out for help Christian Counseling Edmond! The sooner you reach out, the sooner you can get back on the path to restoration with your partner.


I specialize in helping couples have great marriages. I have a passion for marriages and want them to succeed! If I can help you, no matter what stage of life you are in, give me a call or send me an email—I’d love to talk with you about how to improve your marriage.


At New Vision Counseling and Consulting, we value marriages and want to see your marriage honor God! All of our therapists are equipped to help you succeed in love and life. We’re here to help, serve, and provide the best for you, your marriage, and your family. You can reach us at 405-921-7776.