Marriage is hard. When you get into marriage you realize that you don’t just have yourself to think about. Every decision you make affects the life of your spouse. You were also given the responsibility to meet the needs of your spouse. How do you know what are the needs of your spouse? This is a question that many people don’t even get to Best Marriage Therapist Oklahoma City. They get frustrated and get into arguments because their own needs are not met. However, it is our job to put the needs of our spouse before own. If we each do that as spouses then everyone will be taken care of. This is true sacrifice: to put someone else’s needs before your own and value their life above your own.
In the book his needs her needs the author, Dr. Harley, helps teach couples how to fall in love and stay in love. This book is called his needs her needs for reason. In this book he talks about how to make your marriage affair proof. He also discusses why your love bank never closes. Your love bank always requires more Best Marriage Therapist Oklahoma City. It is never filled. Each day we were choir and desire love and acceptance from others. This is especially true with their spouse. One thing that is important to do is to seek this ultimate love and acceptance from Jesus. However it is also human to need acceptance from other people. unconditional love and acceptance from a spouse is vital for a healthy marriage. We know that not everyone is perfect, but we can all give love and try not to expect anything in return.
Another point that he makes in his book is that a woman needs a man to have a conversation with her. This is how she views intimacy. On the other hand, a man of use intimacy through physical intimacy or as Dr. Harley calls it recreational companionship Best Marriage Therapist Oklahoma City. Because men and women have a different view of intimacy each one needs different ways of intimacy.
Another point that he makes in his book is that there needs to be trust between the husband and the wife. They need to trust each other completely and totally. The policy is honesty and openness. If you cannot be truthful with your spouse there is a problem. If you cannot trust your spouse to keep your secrets there is a problem. If you have to hide things from your spouse there is a problem. Again, I say the policy is honesty and open this.
Another point that Dr. Hailee makes is that for both men and women need an attractive spouse. We should strive to become the best version of ourselves for ourselves and for our spouse. This includes our physical attractiveness. Although physical attractiveness may not be a top priority on our list, it should be important. It is OK to want to be attractive to your spouse. If you do not see your spouse as attractive maybe you need to work on your own heart. Focus on the things that drew you to one another it is OK to want to be attractive to your spouse Best Marriage Therapist Oklahoma City. If you do not see your spouse as attractive maybe you need to work on your own heart. Focus on the things that drew you to one another Instead of focusing on all the mistakes. When you focus on the mistakes and their downfalls he will ultimately not see them as attractive. However when you focus on all the good this feeling of attraction will come.
The book his needs her needs also makes the point that she needs enough money to live comfortably and he needs peace and quiet. These are the different needs of the two spouses. This boil down to financial & domestic support. Each spouse needs the support of one another to meet the needs of the home. And also meet their own needs.
Another need that she needs is for the husband to be a good father. She needs her to be proud of him. These two principles basically boil down to family commitment and admiration. She needs him to be committed to the family and he needs her to show admiration for him. I have found this especially true in my own Best Marriage Therapist Oklahoma City. My admiration needs to come in the form of affirming words to my husband. This means I didn’t need inside of him and fills up his love tank because this is his love language.
Later on in the book Dr. Harley goes on to speak about how to repair a marriage after an affair and also how to grow your compatibility. These are not all the principles talked about in the book. At new vision counseling we recommend this book as one of our sources for marriage therapy. It is vital to understand the needs of your spouse to have a healthy marriage. If you do not desire to meet the needs of your spouse you may have to check your heart. Why did you fall in love with your spouse in the first place? You also may have to ask yourself the question why would they meet my needs if I’m not meeting their needs? If you take the initiative to meet their needs, they may in return meet your needs Best Marriage Therapist Oklahoma City. This takes getting past your pride and taking the first step. Somebody has to take the first step.
This is just one of the books that we teach out of new vision counseling. The main book that we rely on, of course, is the Bible, however we use the wisdom of others and the wisdom of professional therapeutic techniques to meet the needs of our clients. Each client brings a special circumstance and a unique perspective. We value each perspective and taking into account when providing therapy. We want to meet their needs and help them create a marriage that lasts a lifetime.