Yesterday evening, as I was returning home from a trip to the grocery store, I noticed that the plants on my porch appeared wilted and sagging. I thought to myself, “I just watered those yesterday”, but then I noticed the hot sun beaming down on them and realized they needed another drink in order to thrive again. I watered them, and within hours they perked right back up. This was a nice reminder that we can’t just nourish something once and expect it to thrive forever. We must water our plants multiple times a week or else they will die, and I’m sorry to break the news to you, my friends, but the same goes for our relationships. Now serving Edmond Through Edmond Marriage Counseling.
Often times, we start out strong in our relationships and our marriages. We pour on the nourishment in the beginning because things are fresh and new. It’s so easy in the beginning! Slowly though, over time, we fail to “water” the flower that is our partnership, and then we wonder why it begins to sag and wilt. If we nourish our marriage every single day, it will thrive. If we neglect it day after day, it will die. Simple as that! So how do we ensure that we provide the proper “nutrients” to our relationship on the daily? There are so many ways to do this, but I’m going to share an easy one with you: Be intentional about the daily transition times in your relationship. By transitions I mean, the way you say, “Good morning”, “See ya later”, “Hello again” and “Goodnight”. These are four beautiful, frequent opportunities to maintain positivity in your relationship. However, these are often taken for granted and become dull parts of our habitual existence. Decide right now that you will make a big, loving deal out of these four moments every day, and your relationship is already moving forward! Now serving Edmond Through Edmond Marriage Counseling.
Human beings are designed for connection. We all crave it, whether we admit it or not! We also want to feel significant and important. Well, nothing will make your partner feel more disconnected and more insignificant than being ignored or even overlooked by you! So, as you think about the best ways to execute your four primary daily transitions with your partner, think about how you can make them feel connected and significant. Try this trick from Mary Kay Ash: She said, “Whenever I meet someone, I try to imagine her wearing an invisible sign that says MAKE ME FEEL IMPORTANT. I respond to this sign immediately and it works every time.” Imagine if you used this trick when you first see your spouse in the morning, or when they first walk through the door after work each day. Do whatever it takes to make them feel important, and I promise, the tone of your relationship will instantly feel better. Do this at EVERY transition of the day, and you’ll feel more connected as a couple. Here are a few more tips for generating feelings of significance and connection in each of your transitions throughout the day: Now serving Edmond Through Edmond Marriage Counseling.
Tip #2: Kiss & Hug! Throw a few extra seconds into your kisses and hugs to let your partner know you don’t take them for granted. Consider Romans 16:16, which says, “Greet one another with a holy kiss”. Make your kiss holy! Muah!
Tip #3: Pray together at one (or more) of the transitions. Praying together as a couple is the most intimate thing you can do with your clothes on! Now serving Edmond Through Edmond Marriage Counseling.
Tip #4: Use a pet name. “Goodnight, Babe” always feels better than a simple “Goodnight”. Now serving Edmond Through Edmond Marriage Counseling.
Tip #5: The “Hello again” might be the most important transition! (This is when you return home to each other after a day away at work or being apart for any reason.) Make this a big deal! Greet your partner in a way that is meaningful and communicates that you’re happy to see them, even on days when you’re not feeling up to it! (Half the battle of marriage is meeting your partner’s needs even when you don’t feel like it. Do it! It matters and it’s a game-changer!). Now serving Edmond Through Edmond Marriage Counseling.
Tip #6: Don’t take your transitions for granted. This one is easier said than done. However, we all know that we can’t guarantee our next breath, so don’t pretend that you can guarantee your next transition with your spouse. Say “Good Morning” and “Goodbye” like it’s the last one! Now serving Edmond Through Edmond Marriage Counseling.
One of my favorite words is “intentional”, because it suggests that we are actively and deliberately living our life instead of just allowing it to happen. Be intentional in your relationships! Be intentional about daily transitions with your partner! Greet them with purpose and leave them with love. These are nurturing ingredients for a lasting connection! Now serving Edmond Through Edmond Marriage Counseling.
Summer Smith is a therapist at New Vision Counseling & Consulting. A place where help you discover what better looks like for you and equip you with the tools to create it.